


True Disaster

by beccyz



Series: Bad Together [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Dark, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2018-12-17 16:44:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beccyz/pseuds/beccyz
Summary: Hongbin is content with his position as a psychologist. His life is simple and quiet until he has to face Sanghyuk, a new patient. He’s enticing, easy to fall for, but he’s dangerous. A puppeteer that likes to manipulate people and his favourite puppet is Hongbin.





	1. PART ONE

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** This is a work of fanfiction. I don’t own any of the Vixx memebers mentioned in this text. Please note that this is a work of fiction and that it does not in any case represents the true identity or character of the Vixx members. 
> 
> **Trigger warning:** dark, psychological abuse and manipulation, mentions of violence, blood and murder. Specific warnings will be mentioned at the beginning of every chapter. 
> 
> Just take the time to read these words before you start diving this story. I thought the usual disclaimer and trigger warning weren’t enough for this story. Sure, it’s just a fanfiction but I want to make sure that no one calls me out for this later. This is a story that involves a psychopath, that should be warning enough but it has a lot of psychological abuse and manipulation in it. This is in no case a love story or should be labelled as romance. This is a relationship no one should aspire to have. I’m not in any kind of way trying to romanticize an abusive relationship or support it.  
> Also, I’m no psychologist or psychology student. The knowledge I have about psychopathy is mainly from the internet and books so don’t take anything that is written for granted. If there are any mistakes, then please let me know.  
> Now that this is out of the way, I hope you’ll enjoy the story anyway. Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Please forgive any grammatical mistakes, spelling etc. English isn’t my first language but I tried my best to get rid of a lot of mistakes. Also, I’m writing in British English :)
> 
> P.S.: This was supposed to be a short story and now it has four parts. I just lost control. + Rating will be raised to Explicit in later parts.
> 
> This work can also be found on [asianfanfics](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1279440/true-disaster-dark-hyuk-vixx-hongbin-sanghyuk-hyukbin)

**Warnings:** mentions of blood, murder and torture

\---

_ We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you? - Psycho _

_ \--- _

He had just sat down in his chair, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand when the director’s secretary barged into his office without knocking. His coffee had nearly slipped out of his hand because he had been startled. The secretary looked embarrassed and laid a file on top of his desk, now a bit more relaxed.

 

“I’m sorry for disturbing you this early Dr Lee, but we have a new patient and the director wants you to look into the case immediately. He said something about some prosecutor bugging him,” babbled the secretary in a conversational tone. 

 

“Prosecutor? I’m not a criminal psychologist, let Dr Jung take the case,” replied Hongbin, looking at the case file on his desk as if it was something rotten. As if he could take another case and especially one that wasn’t even in his field of expertise. 

 

“Dr Jung’s schedule is completely full. There's no way that he can take this case as well. I tried to talk with the director already because I know that this is not your department, but he demands that you take the case,” apologised the secretary, wringing her hands. There was no use in having this discussion with her; she was under just as pressure as Hongbin. 

 

“Fine. I’ll look right into it but I’ll have to delay the sessions with the patient until tomorrow. The group sessions take up all my time today,” Hongbin gave in and massaged the bridge of his nose which made his glasses slip out of place. He already regretted not using his contacts today. 

 

“Very well, Dr Lee. I’ll let the director know that you took the case.”

 

“Thanks,” barked Hongbin after her, since she had already left his office with fast steps. He missed the days when Jaehwan had still been the director’s secretary, but he had taken the job offer from a different clinic, which paid him a lot more and also seemed to appreciate his efforts a lot more. He always raved about his new working place whenever he met Hongbin, which was at least once a week. By now, Hongbin was sick of listening to it because he was still stuck in this hell-hole but it was hard to find steady employment these days. He had no other choice but to stay here. His wage paid the bills, allowed him to live in a nice flat and his belly was always full as well. Hopefully, his boss would pay him handsomely for covering another patient. He would have to get advice from Taekwoon once in a while because criminals weren’t his speciality. 

 

Hongbin took a large sip from his coffee, hissing at the light burn it left on his tongue before he dived into the patient’s file. The first thing that he saw where a lot of gruesome pictures, probably from the crime scene, and he was glad that he had skipped breakfast this morning. To say that they were gory was an understatement. Hongbin had never seen something like this in his entire life, and he had watched loads of slasher and horror movies in his life. It was always different when it was real. These people had been alive once, had worked their jobs, done their chores and sat in front of the TV in the evening. Just like he did every day. They weren’t just fictional characters on a TV screen. Those thoughts saddened him but also sent a shiver running down his spine. Whoever had done that had some big issues and Hongbin would have to face that person and had to act professionally around them. It was hard to stay professional when you looked at photographs of bloody corpses. 

 

These photographs would certainly cause him several nightmares for the next few weeks, but he had taken his job seriously and studied them with a professional eye rather than an empathetic human being. Even though he wasn’t an expert, he could recognise that whoever had done this had been controlled, the cuts looked organised and deliberate. The killer had certainly been conscious of the fact that he was killing someone. Also, he had stabbed specifically the body parts that would spill the most blood but that would also take the person longer to die. The victims had been in pain before they had left this planet. Anger was rising inside of him. He couldn’t believe that anyone was capable of doing such a horrible crime. Three people had been killed that way. Slowly, intentionally with the primary goal to inflict as much pain as possible. 

 

Hongbin read the autopsy report after fetching himself another cup of coffee. Usually, he would eat lunch with Taekwoon and his other colleagues by now, but he doubted that he would ever be hungry again. Also, he was rather fascinated with the case now. It was surely a classical case of a cold-blooded murder and every human being was fascinated by murder in one way or another. No one would ever be able to deny that. The autopsy had revealed that the victims had been tortured before being stabbed. Long whip slashes had been found on their back, inflicted at least two hours before death. They had also been drenched with alcohol, the pain must’ve been excruciating. 

 

Goosebumps covered Hongbin's skin, and he had to close the file. His stomach had started to cramp, and he had to gag. Luckily, he didn’t vomit, but he was reminded why he hadn’t taken that career path. The clock on his deck also told him that he had to get his group session now or else he would be late and one of his patients reacted rather bad to delays. He was glad to get back to his patients, instead of having to face such a mess. However, during the day his mind always wandered back to that file, to the murdered family and the killer that he would have to face tomorrow. He considered drinking alcohol during work for the first time in his career. 

 

** *** **

 

He had barely slept last night, the bloody photographs kept flashing behind his eyelids. The file laid on his bedside table, but he hadn’t looked at it again. He didn’t know a thing about his patient beside his name. However, he rarely read an already existing patient file unless it was absolutely necessary. He liked to get to know the patient on his own, have his own experience with them. Today, he regretted not knowing anything about the patient he was about to meet, besides the fact that they were a murder. There was still half an hour left before the dreaded session, and he tried to drown his nervousness in coffee but that only made him even jumpier. He felt Taekwoon's cool gaze on him that told him to just spill the beans. 

 

“How do you deal with this every damn day?” asked Hongbin suddenly but his dark haired colleague didn’t even seem remotely surprised by that outburst. He hadn’t even looked up from his files. 

 

“Professionalism,” answered Taekwoon in a flat tone that nearly drove Hongbin up a wall. That was the most useless l advice he had ever given. 

 

“Seriously? That’s your answer? I’ve never dealt with a criminal before maybe you could at least give me a pep talk.”

 

“I’m not good at those things. Call Jaehwan, maybe he can give you one.”

 

“No, that would only end in a disaster. He would probably drive me to the point where I want to quit my job,” said Hongbin, trying to imagine Jaehwan giving him a pep talk about facing a killer. By God, the older one would only scream in his ears and pick him up immediately. No, he would definitely not call Jaehwan. 

 

“How do you manage to face your patients normally? What drives you to do your job properly?” asked Taekwoon more attentively now and even faced Hongbin. 

 

“I want to help them find a way to get better so that they can enjoy life at its fullest again but I can’t help that dude that way. He’s just-”

 

“A murderer, I know but if he’s here than there has to be a reason. You haven’t even read his profile so you don’t know which condition he might have. Just try to stay as neutral as possible. Just look at him like he’s any other patient. It’ll be hard the first two times but after that, you’ll face him without nearly jumping out of your own skin,” said Taekwoon and Hongbin could only stare at him before replying: “That was probably the longest time I’ve ever heard you talk.”

 

That earned him a dark look from his colleague, which made Hongbin feel a bit lighter. Joking around had always helped him to relax and Taekwoon may not look like it, but he could be hilarious now and then. Sometimes even intentionally. His alarm rang and pulled him back to reality. It was time to start the session and feel that unbearable nervousness spread through his body again but as Taekwoon had suggested, he tried to stay neutral. His face was a mask of nonchalance as he entered the room. 

 

It was a special session room that was only used by the criminal department of their clinic. Hongbin had never been to that room before but besides two security guards, nothing seemed that different from the other rooms they had at the clinic. Blank light grey walls, a worn linoleum floor and a wooden table with two chairs. One was free while the other was already occupied by the patient. When Hongbin looked at him, he had to hide his shock. He had expected a big brute of a man or an older business guy. Generally someone older, not someone that looked as young as the man sitting at the table. 

 

His dark hair looked ruffled, while his fringe fell into his eyes. His nose was rather prominent but gave him a youthful look. There was a slight smile on his bitten lips that made him seem rather endearing. Nothing about this boy screamed killer and that was what had probably lured that family into a trap or Hongbin was indeed facing an innocent man. He settled down on the empty chair which made the patient look up. Everything about Han Sanghyuk seemed enticing as if you could trust him but there was something about his eyes. Hongbin only now noticed those cold dark eyes that betrayed no emotion. He was used to that thanks to Taekwoon but his eyes never had this look that made the blood freeze in your veins.

 

Professional, that’s what he needed to be, plus keeping a neutral stance. He was a psychologist and had to offer his opinion to the court as soon as he had analysed Sanghyuk properly. So he held his notebook and pen ready as he faced his young patient. Sanghyuk was probably still a university student, barely into his adulthood. It was time to say something because this silence had been going on for far too long already. 

 

“Good morning Mr Han. I’m Dr Lee and here to make a psychological profile of-”

 

“I know what you’re here for Doctor!” Interrupted Sanghyuk in a smooth voice. Once again, Hongbin was taken aback by how charming the young man came across. His voice was like velvet, soothing and enticing. Surely, everybody would believe him anything he said but Hongbin was trained to see right through such a deception. 

 

“Then let’s not waste any time and come straight to the point. Let’s talk about the Yoon family, shall we? How well did you know them?”

 

“No how old are you, what do you see in this picture or why did you do it?” inquired Sanghyuk rather amused. There was still this charming smile on his lips but it had a sarcastic tilt to it now. Hongbin was certain that this would be his worst patient of all time. The first patient that would really test his patience. 

 

“Just answer the question, Mr Han,” simply answered the Doctor, trying to keep the upper hand in this conversation. 

 

“Formal, are we? Well, to answer your question, I didn’t know them!”

“So you were in their neighbourhood by accident?”

 

“Didn’t the police already ask all these questions? I thought you were a psychologist but you don’t seem that prepared. You should’ve seen your face when you first looked at me. Didn’t think that I would be that young right? Next time, you should read the whole file, just a personal suggestion.”

 

Sanghyuk was a very witty patient, twisting his words just the right way to make Hongbin feel insecure, to gain the upper hand in the conversation. Hongbin liked to use this inquisitive technique in the beginning when he wanted to know if he had a dominant or pliant patient sitting in front of him. It made it easier to plan out the upcoming sessions. 

 

“I tend to ignore already existing files about my patients so that I can get to know them personally and on a neutral basis. I don’t want to form a picture of them in my head and judge them based on that,” explained Hongbin in a professional tone, but Sanghyuk was having none of that. 

 

He bent forwards, placing his hands on the table and Hongbin just noticed that they were secured by manacles to the table. He didn’t know if that made him feel safe or scared him. It was a false sense of security because Sanghyuk was dangerous in more ways than one, that was certain, even though they had just talked for a few minutes. The patient stared at him, his dark eyes piercing through the doctor as he said in a very matter of fact voice: “Didn’t you do that with me though? You expected someone older, someone that looks like a killer. You came in here with the thought: ‘I’m going to face a killer’ and not with the mindset that you’re about to talk to a new patient. You had already formed an opinion about me in your head and I don’t really suit your expectations, right?”

 

Honestly, Hongbin hadn’t expected this turn in the conversation. Sanghyuk had looked right through him, had known that he was judgmental from the beginning. Hongbin was certain that he had put on his best neutral voice, but he had never been able to hide his emotions from his eyes. Sanghyuk must’ve seen them widen in surprise when Hongbin had first seen him and made the right conclusion. Now was the time to turn this conversation around or Sanghyuk would win. Hongbin would just let him think that he had won this round. He was far better at this than he would’ve thought. 

 

“So you’d rather start with the traditional questions than come straight to the point?”

 

“You have never done this before right? Don’t you need to know my tragic backstory that might explain such a horrible crime?” asked Sanghyuk, sarcasm staining his words, which made him sound bitter. Though Hongbin doubted that the younger actually felt bitter, it was a game to him, and he had a lot of fun. 

 

“You seem to like to answer a question with a question,” stated Hongbin while he pretended to note something down. Sanghyuk raised one eyebrow sceptically as if he knew that the Doctor was trying to pull his leg. 

 

“Good observation Doctor. But yes, I would like to start with traditional questions but I would like it even better if you would talk to me like I’m one of your usual patients. Makes everything easier, right?”

 

“Well, I guess. Ever thought about becoming a lawyer since you like to twist conversations just the way you need them to be?” suggested Hongbin, trying to use Sanghyuk's own technique against him. 

 

“Considered it. I’m actually a law student but the law doesn’t seem to like me too much, right?” laughed the younger. He was clearly amused by all of this, by the chains keeping him in his place. By Hongbin trying to analyse him and by the prosecutor that tried to get him behind bars. Sanghyuk was certain that he would get away with this. It made his blood boil but Hongbin kept his cool mask. He would make sure that this kid got what it deserved. 

 

“Then let’s start with your childhood. Tell me about it, as detailed as possible.”

 

“Read my file,” was Sanghyuk's only answer, his smile never fading from his lips. It unnerved Hongbin by now, and he wanted to punch it off the younger one’s face, but he had a job to do. Also, it would only get him into unnecessary trouble. 

 

“I already told you, I don’t read already existing files.”

 

“Too bad because I won’t make your job easier, handsome.” Sanghyuk had the nerve to wink at Hongbin. This kid really needed a good beating. 

 

“Well, then I shall write in my report that you were uncooperative, won’t look good in court,” stated Hongbin. Impatience was audible in his voice, something that he never let his patients see. Sanghyuk knew how to get people out of their skin. He smiled wider than before. 

 

“Should I be scared now?”

 

“If you want to have your freedom back, then yes, you should be.”

 

“I don’t worry about my freedom, Doctor. I worry about my other inmates. You’ve seen the pictures, right? I would like to recreate them in prison.”

 

“So your intention is to get taken into a mental institution instead?”

 

“Better beds, better food and solitary because I’m a danger to everyone else, sounds alright to me,” shrugged Sanghyuk as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Locking that kid into a solitary cell forever sounded about right to Hongbin, but that would be a decision based on his emotions and not on his professional opinion. He couldn’t judge what would be the best for Sanghyuk yet. 

 

“I don’t believe a word you say,” replied Hongbin instead, closing his notebook because their session was nearly over, and he was glad for that. The atmosphere in the room was too tense for his liking and Sanghyuk wasn’t the easiest person to have a conversation with. He really challenged Hongbin and especially his patience. 

 

“You better not, Doctor.” Sanghyuk's smile had turned into a smirk by now, which hit a different nerve inside of Hongbin. His irritation flared but rather because of his own reaction. Surely, Sanghyuk had enticed many people with that smile and Hongbin had felt the same way for just a second. It was definitely time that he got out of this room because this session was taking a turn for the worse. 

 

“I recommend you to be more cooperative in our next session,” said Hongbin curtly, his professionalism was crumbling fast. 

 

“And I recommend you to read my file. Very interesting and informative,” retorted Sanghyuk. 

 

“We’ll see about that, Mr Han.”

 

“Why don’t we stop this whole formal nonsense?” suggested Sanghyuk in a conversational tone. He sounded as if he was trying to gain a new friend. That would usually work well for him but Hongbin was his psychologist, not some fellow that he had met at a bar. 

 

“That would be unprofessional.”

 

“Just call me Sanghyuk next time, Doctor.”

 

“Goodbye, Mr Han.”

 

Hongbin was about to stand up and leave the room when he felt cold fingers encircle his wrist. It wasn’t a firm or even a hard grip, just a soft touch but it made Hongbin stop in his tracks. The guards stepped closer but didn’t do anything yet. They watched the scene carefully though. Sanghyuk leaned forward, too close to be casual any more. He had simply moved into Hongbin's personal space with a smile on his bitten lips. Hongbin wasn’t able to move because those cold eyes kept him in place. His skin felt feverish against the younger one’s cold skin. His skin was covered with goosebumps when Sanghyuk whispered: “See you soon, _Hongbin.”_

 

Hearing his own name on the patient’s lips made him break out of his trance. He shook off the others hands and left the room as quickly as possible while still seeming collected and calm. Outside, he had to lean against the door and catch his breath. Sanghyuk's last sentence repeated itself in his head. The way he had spoken his name unnerved him. So casual and smooth with his enticing voice. How did that kid know his first name? It was such a simple fact about himself, just his name but not one of his patients knew his first name. Sanghyuk had thrown it into the room like any other word. He had also won this first round. With this last word, he had got the upper hand and Hongbin didn’t like that at all. 

 

*******

 

He wouldn’t say it out loud but that session had caused him to get wasted at a bar on the same evening. Next day at work, he had to deal with an aching head and a rumbling stomach, but he had made it to the weekend without any further incidents. Usually, he was calm and collected after a session but facing a person like Sanghyuk left its mark. Taekwoon had more or less cheered him up by saying that it was completely normal to feel this drained and that he had drunk one bottle of whisky after meeting his first serial killer. Hongbin didn’t actually know if that had helped him, but he didn’t feel like that big of a failure any more. 

 

He managed to forget about Sanghyuk for nearly most of the weekend. Most of the time, he had spent on analysing other patient cases and meeting with his friends, trying to relax a bit. A week at the clinic tended to be very straining and next week he would have to work on the weekend as well, so he needed some time to relax properly. However, he could only so long ignore the nagging at the back of his head that told him to look at the file again. On the one hand, he needed to look into that file to do his job properly, but on the other hand, he would also let Sanghyuk win and it was never a good idea to let the patient have the upper hand. 

 

Instead of looking into the file, Hongbin used another technique to find out more about Sanghyuk. He used the internet, social media might be a curse but it was also a blessing at times. Finding Sanghyuk's profile was easy because it had become fairly popular ever since his face had been plastered all over the media, depicted him to be a cold-blooded murder. Hongbin browsed all of Sanghyuk's profiles for hours. Of course to ensure that he didn’t miss anything but there was nothing. Just an Instagram with random selfies, the classic food photography and the occasional group photo but there was nothing that would ever indicate that Sanghyuk would torture and kill three people. He seemed just like any other boy his age. However, it became clear after several posts that Sanghyuk was a highly intelligent young man. He had won several debate competitions and got a highly paid scholar ship for a famous law school. As if he had needed that in the first place because his parents were filthy rich. 

 

Sanghyuk’s life seemed perfect, too perfect for Hongbin's liking and it made him itch to reach for the file and read more about Sanghyuk. He rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. They were burning after staring at the bright computer desktop all evening. It was time for him to find some sleep because his first session of the day would be with Sanghyuk. He wanted to be awake and alert for that or else this might go completely wrong. He ignored the case file once again and simply went to bed. There had to be a way to make Sanghyuk talk without reading that damn file. 

 

 

*******

 

He might be awake and alert but clearly not ready for that session. Taekwoon had said that it would start to become easier, but he still felt jumpy. Hongbin wanted to jump out of his own skin and his coffee didn’t help with that, but he just needed that brown liquid for his frayed nerves. That little shit was most likely already sitting in that room, planning how he would get under Hongbin's skin this time. Hongbin thought about a way to not get irritated but it was hard when you had to talk to such an unpredictable person like Sanghyuk. He might use anything against you, even the slightest twitch of a muscle. 

 

His alarm made him jump, too loud for his sensitive ears. He turned it off, emptied his mug and took a deep breath. There was no time to panic, he needed to keep a cool head. Easier said than done because he was freaking out on the inside. There was no use though because he had to go through this or lose his job. Something he really couldn’t afford right now.

 

When he entered the room, the two security guards were standing in their places against the wall again while Sanghyuk sat in his chair, twirling his thumbs and stared holes into his handcuffs. Hongbin sat down in his chair without a word. No hello, nothing. He would let Sanghyuk wait today. Sometimes that was the best way to make a patient talk, they couldn’t stand the silence for far too long. Hongbin opened his notebook, pen at the ready before he finally directed his eyes at Sanghyuk. The younger one’s hair was tousled like the last time but there was no smile on his face, and he looked as if he hadn’t slept properly in a long time. Served him right because Hongbin had freaking nightmares thanks to this case. They just sat there in silence for minutes, just staring at each other and Hongbin really started to feel awkward after a while, but he kept to his strategy. 

 

More minutes passed like this. Nothing happened. Even the guards seemed to be uncomfortable as well and sighed audibly when the session was finally over. Neither Hongbin nor Sanghyuk had said anything, they had just started at each other. Hongbin was certain that this had been the scariest hour of his entire life and that it would haunt his dreams tonight. When he stood up, he caught sight of the way the corner of Sanghyuk's mouth tilted upwards. A smile was forming on the younger one’s lips and Hongbin didn’t like it at all. ‘Well played’, was all he could think as he had left the room. He had thought that he would surely get Sanghyuk to talk this way, but he hadn’t planned that the other would stay quiet as well. Hongbin wanted to smash his head into the wall, instead, he simply ruffled his brown hair before heading into the cafeteria, desperately needing another coffee or something stronger.

 

*******

 

The next two sessions were spent in the same procedure. Sanghyuk and Hongbin faced each other, keeping constant eye contact while an eerie silence surrounded them. Hongbin had a deadline to maintain, but he wouldn’t give in that easily. He still hadn’t read the file and Sanghyuk still didn’t talk. They could’ve gone on like that for the next few months but the case was going to court soon and the prosecutor stressed the director who in the end stressed Hongbin. He had told his boss to give someone else the job but the director had only said that he had chosen Hongbin specifically for this job. Hongbin still didn’t understand why, but he was certain that he would understand as soon as he would start to read the whole damn file. Every minute of silence that he endured in that room drove him closer to that file and Sanghyuk knew that he was becoming desperate. Every time the younger one’s smile became brighter at the end of another successfully silent session. Hongbin would lose against Sanghyuk, it didn’t even matter if he read the file or not. 

 

“I told you to read the file,” was Taekwoon's answer when Hongbin had cornered him to get some advice before the next session with Sanghyuk. Taekwoon had even rolled his eyes, but he simply didn’t know who Hongbin was facing. That boy was literally the devil in disguise. 

 

“He told me to read the file, if I do it now then it’ll change the whole dynamic. It's the first and most important rule to keep the control as a psychologist.”

 

Taekwoon frowned at that, probably thinking that Hongbin was going crazy. 

 

“First of all, that is a ridiculous rule because we are never completely in control. No one ever is. Second, you wouldn’t be in this dilemma if you had read the file in the first place. Just read it and be done with it. You only have a few more sessions with that kid and then you’ll never see him again after giving your statement at court!”

 

“You’re really talkative lately,” stated Hongbin, which only led to Taekwoon rolling his eyes before saying in his defence: “It’s Haekyeon’s fault.”

 

“Thought so,” laughed Hongbin before he looked at that dreaded file in front of him again. He was on his fifth coffee for today and his body was buzzing thanks to all the caffeine, but he still had the session with Sanghyuk, and he had nearly fallen asleep in his office this morning. He had one hour to go, plenty of time to read that file. He couldn’t believe that he was the one to finally give in. Well, sometimes it was better to bend than to break. He heaved a sigh as he opened the file. The gruesome photographs were the first thing he saw, but he skipped them quickly. He had stopped at the autopsy report that had recounted the preciseness of the cuts, etc., and it suited Sanghyuk's personality. He seemed organised, clean, not someone that would easily lose their temper. 

 

He flipped to the next page where a profile of Sanghyuk awaited him. He read it attentively, trying not to miss any kind of information that might be useful to him. That kid had had a perfect life. He had grown up in an upper-class family, been a straight A student for nearly all of his academic career and had even done lots of voluntary work. There seemed to be nothing wrong with Sanghyuk but Hongbin had looked into those cold eyes and seen that something was awfully wrong with him. No wonder the Yoon's had let that kid enter their house. He looked perfectly innocent, not like someone that took a knife and stabbed you. 

 

There was nothing in those files that was even remotely helpful to Hongbin. No struggles in the past, a seemingly perfect childhood and a bright future. He needed Sanghyuk to talk because there was a suspicion forming in his head, and he needed either confirmation or denial. He was ready for the upcoming session and there would be no more games between them. Hongbin was sick of playing when his cards had never looked good in the first place. He was ready to show them and maybe fail but at least he would finally get some information that he could use to create a profile. 


	2. PART TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** psychological manipulation
> 
> **Notes:** As I've already mentioned before, I'm not an expert on psychopath, so if I do get anything wrong then please forgive me. Thank you :)

__

_ “I think I must have one of those faces you can't help believing.“ - Psycho _

_ \--- _

**PART 2**

 

They had faced each other for only two minutes in complete silence when Sanghyuk finally gave in and said: “So you finally have read the file?”

 

Hongbin had actually thrown the file on the table, just barely out of Sanghyuk's reach and lifted one eyebrow, a silent demand for Sanghyuk to explain himself. Of course, the younger one would only answer with another question instead. Hongbin wasn’t in the mood for these kinds of games any more. 

 

“Yes, I read it and there's nothing. No tragic backstory, no hint of any mental illness or a motive for the murders!” answered Hongbin and wasn’t able to conceal the anger from his voice. Sanghyuk smiled as he leaned back in his seat, obviously very satisfied with the doctor’s reaction. 

 

“Exactly. I told you it was very informative.”

 

“Sarcastic remarks won’t help you in court,” hissed Hongbin, not even trying to keep a professional mask in front of that little git any more. It only made Sanghyuk smile even brighter. He had Hongbin exactly where he wanted. 

 

“You sound just like my lawyer.”

 

“So you just killed these people because you were bored or what?”

 

“I killed them, well because killing is fun. The way they beg for their lives and how it slowly fades from their eyes is so immensely satisfying. Of course, you wouldn’t understand that,” explained Sanghyuk as if he was talking about the weather. As if killing someone was as normal as a rainy day. Hongbin felt anger boil inside of him, but he tried to keep himself in check. He was still at work after all. 

 

“A family wouldn’t let a murder in their house neither a stranger. How did you manage to get inside in the first place? There were no signs of a burglary,” stated Hongbin, knowing that Sanghyuk would answer him any question he would ask right now. They had played cat and mouse for far too long, it was time for some facts.

 

“I told them that I had lost my dog and that it had run into their backyard. I even had a leash and all. They let me in because who wouldn’t let a young charming man into their house, right?” smiled Sanghyuk, pride audible in his voice and Hongbin couldn’t help himself but agree. Anyone would let Sanghyuk into their home with that charming smile, and he had to be a great actor as well. He had hidden such brutality behind a smiling mask for years and Hongbin would get to the bottom of Sanghyuk's crazy mind, even though he knew that it would be one hell of a ride. 

 

“Sounds organised.”

 

“It’s my speciality, Hongbin.”

 

“It’s Doctor Lee to you,” retorted Hongbin, annoyed by the younger lack of manners. It was just another strategy of Sanghyuk to drive him mad and it was working. 

 

“Nah, I prefer Hongbin,” said Sanghyuk casually that charming smile still on his lips. It unnerved Hongbin for two reasons. He knew that smile was fake but it also enticed him. It was so easy to fall under Sanghyuk's spell, no matter how schooled he was for such a situation. Only his cold eyes told Hongbin that he was sitting in front of a killer, and they were a great reminder for him to keep his guard up when he was around the younger. That little git knew how to play with people. 

 

“Would you do it again?” asked Hongbin, trying to get back to the topic. 

 

“What? Call you by your first name or kill a family? You’ll have to be a bit more specific,” inquired Sanghyuk, leaning forward in his seat, minimising the distance between them. That was something that he liked to do, get into Hongbin's personal space because he knew that it made the Doctor nervous. 

 

“The latter.”

 

“Yes, I would,” shot Sanghyuk naturally and Hongbin hadn’t expected anything different.

 

“Why?”

 

“Like I said it’s fun.”

 

“Does it make you feel like you’re in control?” They were finally making some progress. Hongbin made some notes. Sanghyuk glanced shortly at the notebook and pen before directing his attention back to Hongbin. 

 

“Of course it does. Anyone would feel in control and superior when the life of another laid in their hands.”

 

“So you do it for fun and the thrill of power?”

 

“Pretty much. You should try it yourself. It’s rather intoxicating,” suggested the younger one with a smirk. That smirk irritated Hongbin even more because it stripped a bit of youth from Sanghyuk's face, revealing the man underneath it and emphasised how attractive he actually was. Not that Hongbin felt attracted. Sanghyuk was dangerously handsome in more way than one. 

 

“I would rather not,” said Hongbin, his voice sounding too thick to his own ears.

 

“Boring.”

 

“Do you feel any kind of remorse for what you did?” It was the final question and its answer would get him closer to make a proper diagnose. 

 

“Not at all!” Now, Hongbin knew why the director had chosen him for this case. He had written a dissertation about Sanghyuk’s condition. He still remembered holding it in front of a bunch of people that had listened attentively. He had forgotten the name of his dissertation by now but it had been about Psychopaths and why people were fascinated by them. His only discourse in criminal psychology because he had always been fascinated by them as well and Sanghyuk was one of them. Hongbin was facing a psychopath. 

 

** *** **

 

He had had his suspicions when he had first seen the crime scene pictures and read the autopsy report. Clean, calculated wounds. Torture was a part of the crime as well but that was something that Hongbin would inquire further in their next session. Then Sanghyuk's whole demeanour, his charming personality and the clean perfect life. They had all been hints at what was actually hiding behind his carefully crafted mask. Now, that it was clear that he had felt no remorse at all, Hongbin was fairly certain that Sanghyuk was a psychopath. He didn’t know how he should feel about that fact. On the one hand, he was scared to sit in a room with Sanghyuk, a deep inner fear that was all too human. On the other hand, he also was fascinated by Sanghyuk, a rather normal reaction as well, but his fascination scared him more than the simple fact of facing a psychopath. 

 

There was just something about Sanghyuk that was attracting Hongbin. He had admitted to himself that he was attracted, and he wasn’t happy with that whatsoever. As a psychiatrist, he should know better. He should give the case to another colleague that was neutral and not easily impressed by Sanghyuk. Taekwoon should’ve taken that case in the first place. Now, Hongbin was battling a mix of fear and attraction, a dangerous mixture that made it hard for him to work properly. Or generally to keep his life under control. He spaced out more frequently, which did not only bother Jaehwan but Taekwoon was also keeping a close eye on him nowadays. Hongbin had taken two days off to clear his mind but the clinic had called during the afternoon. It seemed as if Sanghyuk was ready to talk and there was no way that Hongbin could miss this without being fired immediately.

 

So he had taken the next train to the clinic with raw nerves. He wasn’t even in his usual white coat and proper formal wear. Washed out jeans and a black shirt would have to do for today. It was his day off after all and no one would fire him for that. As long as he had his name tag and ID everything would be fine. Taekwoon was waiting for him in front of the clinic. Surely he wanted to prepare him for this unplanned session, or at least Hongbin hoped so because he wasn’t prepared at all. 

 

“Your patient had a breakdown, cried that he was ready to spill everything,” explained Taekwoon while they made their ways through the rather empty halls of the clinic. It was the weekend so the staff was reduced. The building had always seemed eerier to him when the halls were empty. 

 

“Doesn’t sound like him at all,” murmured Hongbin. He couldn’t even picture Sanghyuk crying. It was an image that just didn’t fit, but he must’ve been very convincing. 

 

“That’s what I thought, so you have to be really careful today. It was probably a trick to get you here. Is he attached to you?”

 

“I don’t think that he’ll ever be attached to anyone, but he likes to play mind games with me,” admitted Hongbin, ashamed that Sanghyuk was able to play with him like that in the first place but Taekwoon didn’t seem to judge. He knew that their job wasn’t always easy. 

 

“Be careful, Hongbin. I would go in with you but I’m not allowed as you know,” warned Taekwoon, worry laced in his words. Hongbin had never seen or heard Taekwoon like this before. It made his skin feel itchy, this wasn’t right. It was as if Hongbin was jumping into a very dark hole, and he didn’t know what awaited him once he hit the ground. If even Taekwoon seemed worried, then something was off.

 

“Don’t worry too much. I’ll be all right.” Hongbin tried to play it cool but in reality, he was nearly peeing himself. Taekwoon had aggravated his fear which wouldn’t be helpful at all. 

 

They reached the room and his colleague gave him a more or less encouraging smile before he left. Hongbin took a deep breath, opened the door and entered the room before he could overthink his actions. Every step was forced and his whole body was rigid. It only became worse when he noticed that no guards were in the room and Sanghyuk was standing at the window, his back to Hongbin. 

 

“It’s so easy to trick people, right? A few tears, and they give you everything you want. Fake a breakdown, and they get your psychologist here as fast as possible and even allow you to be in a room without guards,” mused Sanghyuk satisfied. So Hongbin had been right, this had just been a plan to get Hongbin to the clinic. 

“So no dramatic confessions? I came all the way here for nothing on my free day,” clarified Hongbin, annoyed that the staff had fallen for that in the first place. He could still lie on his sofa and think about the case rather than having to face Sanghyuk for real. Well, both options were agony to his nerves. 

 

“Let’s be real, you were excited to come here, right? You took two days off, we would’ve missed a wonderful session and your time is running out. I just wanted to make sure that you would use all your precious time to give me a proper diagnose.”

 

“You’re a psychopath, there you have your diagnosis.”

 

“I’ve suspected it, good to hear it from a professional,” pride was audible in Sanghyuk's voice. As if it was an accomplishment to be diagnosed as a psychopath. It made Hongbin's blood boil with anger. He didn’t even care about professionalism, technically he wasn’t even at work right now.

 

“It’s nothing that you should be proud of.”

 

“No? Oh, Hongbin, I’m not proud but I’m satisfied because it could be a solid reason for me to stay in a mental institution instead of going to prison!”

 

“Still inclined to stay here?”

 

“The blame’s on you,” answered Sanghyuk bluntly and made Hongbin stop in his tracks. The younger had turned around, facing the psychologist with swollen eyes. He had cried for real, had put on a show to get Hongbin here. It made his stomach coil nervously. Hongbin wasn’t sure if he should continue walking towards Sanghyuk or rather stay a safe distance away. The latter was probably the most rational option. 

 

“Enlighten me,” prompted Hongbin which made Sanghyuk smile with satisfaction. Hongbin had played right into his hands again.

 

“With pleasure. It’s simple, Doc. I like you and I like the games we play. I feel challenged, something that I’ve been missing for most of my life. Also, you’re hot!” Sanghyuk had minimised the distance between them, as he liked to do. With every step that he came closer, Hongbin felt like a predator was stalking towards him, which wasn’t entirely wrong based on the fact that he was facing a psychopath. 

 

“I don’t feel flattered at all,” Hongbin managed to say without stuttering, a horrible habit that only surfaced when he became too nervous. Sanghyuk made him nervous in more ways than one. There was a deep fear that was throwing him into turmoil, mixed with fascination and also attraction. The latter was the only one that Hongbin was still able to push far away from himself. However, it was becoming more difficult, not even Sanghyuk's cold eyes could stifle the attraction anymore. It was a pull that made Hongbin step forward unintentionally. Sanghyuk smiled when he noticed that the older one had come closer on his own. 

 

“We both know that you’re lying,” whispered Sanghyuk, his voice was soothing but Hongbin knew not to trust it. Still, he had to gulp. Only now he realised that Sanghyuk was taller than he had expected, even taller than himself. It were only a few centimetres, but Hongbin still had to look up to maintain eye contact. Sanghyuk towered over him or at least, that’s how it felt like to Hongbin. This whole situation wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to be at home not standing way too close to a criminal patient. He was also not supposed to feel his blood boiling due to attraction and not anger. This was inappropriate but his mind was a whirlwind, and he was glad that he was still able to keep himself upright. Sanghyuk was aware of the effect he had on the psychologist, he simply had to know by that lazy smirk on his full lips. 

 

“I think our time has run out,” were Sanghyuk's words after what had felt like hours of silence and staring. Hongbin snapped out of his trance and took three step backwards. Creating as much distance between him and his patient as possible. Sanghyuk's smirk never left, and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. Only belated Hongbin realised that there were no cuffs on Sanghyuk hands. Sanghyuk could’ve easily hurt Hongbin, but he had decided not to because he was in control. He had shown Hongbin today that no matter how hard he tried Sanghyuk would always be in control. Hongbin would either have to bend or break. Neither sounded like a good option. Hongbin tried to collect himself again, tried to be professional but Sanghyuk would see right through it. He had looked into Hongbin's eyes and known that there was interest. An interest that shouldn’t be there. Sanghyuk would use that against him, time could only tell how. 

 

“See you on Monday, Hongbin,” whistled Sanghyuk delighted as Hongbin left the room, still breathless from their encounter. 

 

*******

 

He was lounging on Jaehwan's big couch, regretting his decision to become a psychologist. Maybe he should’ve studied business management as his father had suggested. A groan left his lips as he hid his face in a brightly coloured pillow. He could hear Jaehwan chuckle as he settled down next to Hongbin. The pillow was torn from his face and instead, a steaming cup of tea was held in front of it. Hongbin gladly took the cup, inhaling the soothing smell of chamomile. Jaehwan was strongly against Hongbin's high caffeine consumption, so he only gave the younger one tea when he visited. By now, Hongbin was used to it, and he knew that it was better for his health if he didn’t drink as much coffee as he did but hey it hadn’t killed him yet. 

 

“You rarely visit me on Sundays. What’s on your mind, my young friend?” asked Jaehwan as he sat down next to Hongbin. It hadn’t actually been Hongbin's plan to talk with Jaehwan about this, but he had to tell someone. He couldn’t keep this to himself any longer. Of course, he wouldn’t mention Sanghyuk's name or that he was attracted to a patient. No, he would try to dance around the subject and usually Jaehwan wouldn’t pry too much. 

 

“You sound like an old man,” laughed Hongbin, trying to shake off his own nervousness and Jaehwan as usual joined in on the jokes. It was easy to laugh with him though he tended to be a bit too loud for Hongbin's liking. 

 

“I am old,” retorted Jaehwan simply and took a sip from his tea. He cursed colourfully when he realised that it was still too hot to actually drink it. 

 

“A fault confessed is half redressed.”

“Haha, very funny Hongbin. Stop beating around the bush.”

 

“I may be interested in someone, sexually, you know,” murmured Hongbin, feeling like a little school girl. Jaehwan was always the first person he turned to when it came to such issues and usually it wasn’t a big problem but this time. Well, this time Hongbin was attracted to a psychopath that was also his patient. His life was pretty much fucked up right now. That he even admitted the attraction only made it worse. God, maybe he was the one that actually needed therapy. 

 

“And that is a problem because? Is it because you haven’t had a partner in a long time? I’m not going to practice with you,” stated Jaehwan, already backing away from Hongbin, who could only manage to roll his eyes. This situation wasn’t exactly funny but his friend always knew how to brighten his mood. 

 

“Ugh, Jaehwan. That’s an image I’ll never get out of my head. No, the issue is that I really shouldn’t be attracted to that person.”

 

“Taken or maybe even married? Sounds scandalous!” inquired Jaehwan, now much more interested in the whole topic. He loved scandalous topics, hence why he always had the newest gossip for Hongbin. Sometimes they were like two old women meeting for tea to share some juicy gossip. It nearly made him laugh, wouldn’t Sanghyuk's image not haunt him.

 

“Can you be serious for once?” groaned Hongbin.

“I’ll try.”

“I shouldn’t because they’re not exactly you know safe.”

 

“They have an STD?” asked Jaehwan, his voice a pitch higher than before. 

 

“What the hell? No, not that I know of. I meant that he’s dangerous,” clarified Hongbin immediately, trying hard not to gesticulate too much or the hot tea would sear his skin. 

 

“Ah, so it’s a male. We’re making progress.” Jaehwan leaned back against the couch and sipped his tea with an inquiring look in his eyes. Why did Hongbin talk to him again?

 

“You’re really irritating at times.”

 

 

“You love it.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Back to the topic. What’s with that guy? Is he in a biker gang? That would be new,” mused Jaehwan, clearly not understanding what Hongbin meant with dangerous. He would love to tell his friend the whole truth but it would cost him his job, and he didn’t want to see the look on Jaehwan's face when he confessed that he was sexually attracted to a psychopath. Jaehwan would probably never talk to him again. 

 

“No, he’s not a biker or in a gang. He’s just, well, dangerous. He seems so charming and friendly but I know that I can’t trust him,” tried Hongbin to explain without giving away any details. Jaehwan also didn’t ask any further questions, he just worked with whatever Hongbin gave him.

 

“You don’t have to marry him, do you? Just fuck and be done with it,” suggested Jaehwan and Hongbin had to suppress the image of sex with Sanghyuk popping up in his head. His stomach twisted itself into a knot, a delicious knot that sent sparks through his body. Clearly not the reaction that he needed right now. 

 

“Ugh, it’s not that simple,” groaned Hongbin and hid his face behind his hands.

 

“Does he live in another country or where exactly is the problem?”

 

“I just really shouldn’t feel this way about him.”

 

“Everybody loves danger,” stated Jaehwan simply. A simple fact that no one could deny but Hongbin didn’t want to hear such generic facts. He wanted some good god damned advice. 

 

“Well, this danger might take my life.”

 

“You’re just being dramatic.”

 

“And you don’t understand.”

 

They let the topic slide after that and sipped their tea in silence. A silence that didn’t remain for far too long because Jaehwan couldn’t stand it for too long. He simply began to talk about one of his co-workers that apparently had an affair with someone else in their clinic. The usual gossip that would distract Hongbin from his own thoughts but not today. All he could think about was that pull that dragged him closer to Sanghyuk and to the edge of a cliff. He could jump in the water and break all of his bones or try to get away. He was still able to get away. He could write his report and never talk to Sanghyuk again. Maybe that’s what he should do, simply be done with it. There was no need to go to that session on Monday when there was a report on the directors boss before his shift started. 

 

*******

 

It was in the middle of the night, Monday night. Hongbin had started to write his report after dinner with Jaehwan and it was finished, but he just couldn’t bring himself to print it or even save it on his computer. It should be easy, like any other report he had ever done but this time it was different. This was Sanghyuk. Hongbin had battled his own sleep-deprived mind for hours, and he still hadn’t decided if he would give that report to the director or not. On the one hand, he would be done with this case but on the other hand, he wouldn’t have done his job through fully. The last argument also entailed his own desperate need to see Sanghyuk again. It was unhealthy, completely unprofessional and fucked up. The younger had him under his spell and it was too late to escape. 

 

Hongbin cursed at himself and punched the top of his desk. The pain mildly tingled through his fist, but he easily ignored it. He really needed some sleep now, and he would decide at the last minute if he will hand over the report. His alarm was set for six am, so he would still get at least four hours of sleep. He literally crashed on his bed still fully dressed and closed his heavy burning eyes. Sleep found him easily but Sanghyuk as well. He couldn’t escape that man. 

 

_There were hands pressed against his throat, cutting off his respiratory passes, and he tried to get the hands away. They loosened their hard grip and Hongbin was able to breathe again. He gasped for breath, not sure how long he had been choked. The next thing he heard was a low chuckle, one that he knew very well by now. Goosebumps covered his skin and a shiver ran down his spine. He dared to open his eyes and was greeted by Sanghyuk's cold and dark ones immediately. As usual, there was a smile on the other one’s lips while his tousled hair tickled Hongbin's face. Sanghyuk was towering over him, one hand kept him up, or he would’ve crushed Hongbin. The other hand massaged Hongbin's throat, ready to choke him again if he didn’t obey. Hongbin felt a sick thrill run through his body, and he wanted to curse at himself for feeling his pants tighten. He should fight off Sanghyuk and run away, not getting aroused by his actions._

 

_He didn’t know how he had got into that bed in only his underwear while Sanghyuk towered over him with his shirt off but jeans still on. His milky skin looked slightly red in the light and Hongbin wanted nothing more than to bite it._

 

_“Don’t even think about it,” whispered Sanghyuk as if he had read Hongbin's mind, it made the other flush lightly. Another chuckle escaped Sanghyuk's lips before they were lowered against Hongbin's neck. He kissed the already blooming marks his hands had left and Hongbin was gasping for air again but now for an entirely different reason. His pants felt even tighter than before and his body was hyper aware of every place Sanghyuk was touching. The younger one’s tongue licked over one mark, it was a firm lick that evoked a slight pain but it was only another electric shock to Hongbin. His mind was screaming at his body for reacting so willingly to Sanghyuk. He wanted to run away, but he also wanted more. More of the licks and kisses and of Sanghyuk's skin on his._

 

_Sanghyuk could easily kill him right now. It was a danger that Hongbin was well aware of but it didn’t scare him. No, some sick part inside of him was aroused by that simple fact. His life laid in Sanghyuk's cold but smooth hands. His fingers scratched down Hongbin's abdomen, which made the latter stifle a moan._

 

_“There’s no need to be quiet. Nobody will hear you anyway,” it was an invitation but also a warning. An invitation to let go of everything but also a warning that nobody would ever help or find him if Sanghyuk decided that killing was far more thrilling than the simple pleasure of sexual contact. Another thrill drummed through Hongbin's body, which made his hips buck slightly. He was so willing, it scared him. Sanghyuk only smiled and let his hand slide down further. It was just above the hem of Hongbin's boxers, playing with the waistband before it finally wandered underneath the fabric._

 

Hongbin's alarm tore him from his dream. He didn’t know if he should be grateful or pissed. It was such an inappropriate dream, making Hongbin even slightly sick but it had also been the most exciting one he had had in a long time. His body was still buzzing with lust, his pants too tight and his skin scratchy against the cotton of his shirt. He really needed some therapy of his own. 

 

 

*******

 

His decision had been easy after the dream. The report was deleted, and he was on his way to the clinic. His first session of the day was the one with Sanghyuk. Hopefully, his body listened to him again and his mind wouldn’t remind him of his dream every other second. That would only end in embarrassment. 

 

There were still no guards in sight when he entered the room but at least Sanghyuk was sitting at the table with handcuffs fastened around his wrists. Hongbin tried not to stare at these hands for too long or think about the way they had felt in his dream. He tried to push all those thoughts as far away from him as he could. 

 

“Rough night, Doc?” asked Sanghyuk in his charming voice, faking interest. Hongbin only gave him a dark look as he settled down. 

 

“That’s none of your business, Mr Han.”

 

“Ah formal again.”

 

“I’ve never called you by your first name.”

 

“You should. Maybe I’ll talk more openly then.”

 

“Let’s try this without crossing lines.”

 

“Oh, I think it’s too late for that, Hongbin.” An involuntary shiver ran down his back, but he simply ignored that sentence. It was just easier than to have a full-blown discussion. He was just here to ask a few more questions and hoped Sanghyuk would be cooperative because this was becoming torture to him. 

 

“Was the Yoon family your first kill?”

 

“No games today?” Hongbin only shot him another glare which made Sanghyuk smile even brighter. He leaned forwards, using his usual techniques but Hongbin was used to them by now. He wouldn’t play today. He would simply do his job. That stupid dream had shaken him out of his trance, had shown him that he would have a real problem if he let Sanghyuk come even closer to him.

 

“Well, then not. Hmm, let me think. My first kill?” mused Sanghyuk, trying to stall for time but Hongbin was having none of that. He simply stared at the younger, waiting for his response. Sanghyuk's smile slowly vanished and a cold mask was put in its place. Hongbin felt fear unfolding in his body, and he tried hard not to show it. This was a different Sanghyuk, a far more dangerous one. Hongbin pushed the limits today and it was far more exciting than it should be. 

 

“They were my first kill!”

 

“Any other incidents with the law? Underage drinking or a brawl?”

 

“Trying to find some criminal energy?” Hongbin ignored that question as well. It was hard not to feel irritated but it was far more satisfying to see Sanghyuk lose for once. The others face seemed to darken even more. Hongbin had to watch himself or this might go horribly wrong. 

 

“I once had a brawl with another kid at my school. I had never talked to him before but on that day I spend the break with him. He seemed like a nice kid but something about him was ticking me off. I can’t explain what it was but I had the urge to see how his face would look like when he was in pain. I tripped him but he had only flinched. It wasn’t enough. I wanted to see his pain, the way his body would react. It was really more for science than anything else. I started to beat him up out of the blue. It was the only way to see his pain. I broke his nose and his parents freaked out but a large sum of money can shut up anyone.”

 

 

“So your parents covered the whole thing up?”

 

“It wouldn’t look good on my resume, right? I never beat anyone up again but I found a way to still see other people in pain. I arranged for them to beaten up. I had learned from my mistake and let other people do the dirty work.”

 

“Why did you do the ‘dirty work’ yourself this time?”

 

“I wasn’t satisfied anymore. There’s so much violence on TV and everywhere that you get used to it. There was no thrill in watching anymore, it wasn’t satisfying. I had to do something myself and that family was perfect. Sure, I could’ve simply killed them but the whipping, I don’t know. It added to the thrill and I was very satisfied afterwards. You can’t imagine that feeling of seeing their life fade away because of you. The way they begged me not to do it and I shushed them. I told them that they would be all right as I plunged the knife into their bodies. I can still feel it sinking in and it makes my day!”

 

“You’re sick.”

 

“Is that the psychologist talking or the man behind the title? The true Hongbin?”

 

“A mix of both. Are you aware that you took three life's without even thinking twice?”

 

“It’s just three lives on a planet where billions of people live and new ones are born every second. What do three lives matter on such a big planet in the end?”

 

“They might’ve been very important to someone else,” suggested Hongbin but Sanghyuk only shrugged. Ignorant bastard. 

“That might be true but what do I care? I’m well aware of the fact that I did something that is seen as wrong in our society but who can tell me what’s the right thing to do?”

 

“Not killing three innocent people, obviously.”

 

“If they had been paedophiles would you say the same thing? Wouldn’t you even be happy that I did it while no one else had the guts to do it? Some might be thankful that I killed the Yoon family,” said Sanghyuk, twisting his words so skilfully that Hongbin questioned his own opinion shortly.

 

“Are you seeing yourself as some kind of hero?”

 

“I’m not a hero neither a villain. It all depends on the perspective, right?”

 

“There’s no perspective when it comes to murder!”

 

Hongbin closed his notebook and stood up. Their hour wasn’t over yet but had had enough for the day. He desperately needed some coffee and something that made him forget that he had ever met Sanghyuk. He had glimpsed into that psychotic mind, and he was terrified but his attraction hadn’t left. It was still there, even becoming stronger. It made him sick, he made himself sick. He simply had to leave this room, or he would go crazy. 

 

He was about to leave when a cold hand grabbed him by the waist and pushed him forcefully against the wall. The breath was knocked out of him, but he had no time to process the situation because a hand was wrapped around his throat instantly. The grip was firm but only a threat. When Hongbin tried to struggle, the grip tightened but relaxed as soon as Hongbin stopped moving. There was nearly no space between his and Sanghyuk's body. The younger kept him pinned against the wall with his whole body but Hongbin wouldn’t have moved away even if he had had the choice. He was enjoying the others body heat, inhaling Sanghyuk's smell properly for the first time. It was a mix of herb body wash, some vanilla and coldness, like a cold winter day. It was intoxicating, making Hongbin's head swim. There was no way that he was able to think straight with Sanghyuk in such close proximity. 

 

“We’re not done with our session yet, Hongbin. We still have few minutes, shouldn’t we use them wisely?” whispered Sanghyuk against the shell of his ear. His warm breath against Hongbin's skin made him shiver. In fact, if he hadn’t been pressed against the wall he would’ve probably lost his footing by now. His legs were trembling, made out of jello. Fear and attraction were a dangerous but intoxicating mix, something that he had never thought he would enjoy. He wasn’t able to form a sentence, rendered completely speechless by Sanghyuk's actions. 

The pressure around Hongbin's throat increased and made him gasp for breath. He was pretty sure that he was going to die, judging by Sanghyuk's cold face. What he didn’t expect was Sanghyuk leaning in and pressing their lips against each other. Hongbin's body went rigid but relaxed only seconds later. His body had waited for this to happen, he had waited for so long and now every nerve was alight. He felt his skin sizzle and a very low whine escaped his constricted throat. Sanghyuk seemed to like that sound as he loosened the grip around Hongbin’s neck. The latter wrapped his arms around Sanghyuk's neck, pulling him impossibly closer. In that time, Sanghyuk had slipped his tongue into Hongbin's mouth. It was wrong but Hongbin hadn’t felt that aroused in a long time and Sanghyuk tasted so deliciously, he wanted more. Sanghyuk gladly obliged and engaged their tongues into a fierce dance. Hongbin's hands wandered into Sanghyuk silky hair, trying to find some kind of hold there because he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to stand on his own two feet again. 

 

Sanghyuk, who always needed to be in control, seemed to like the slight hair pulling because he groaned into Hongbin's mouth. They kissed for as long as their lungs could bear to be without air. It was a passionate and rough kiss, just how Hongbin had wanted it. He would’ve never expected Sanghyuk to be soft with him, he wouldn’t want that anyway. Sanghyuk woke something inside of him that had slept for a long time but now wanted to play. He had been unaware that this part even existed. 

 

They broke their kiss after their lungs started to ache to heavily to be ignored any longer. They both gasped, oxygen flowing into their lungs again. Hongbin had to gulp as he looked at Sanghyuk. His lips were red and swollen, his hair even messier than usual and the smirk was back on his face. 

 

“Now our time is up,” was all the younger one said before he squeezed Hongbin's throat lightly and then went back to his chair. Hongbin needed a few seconds to collect himself until he was ready to walk out of the room and face the world. Sanghyuk needed to vanish from his life as fast as possible, or he might regret it once he had a knife stuck in his back. 


	3. PART THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** psychological manipulation, curse words, suggestive conversations (?)
> 
> **Notes:** This chapter includes a scene at court, but I actually have no clue how court works. I tried my best in making this scene realistic, but there might be some errors on my side. Feel free to let me know how court actually works :D

 

 

_ "You know what I think? I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out." - Psycho _

\---

**PART 3**

 

The number of wet dreams that followed that kiss were embarrassingly high. Hongbin's hormones were raging as if he was a teenager again. He wanted more of Sanghyuk, he wanted everything that he would be able to offer. However, Hongbin was also running out of time. He had only one session left with Sanghyuk before he had to finally write his report. Well, he had already written a rough draft and added new information about Sanghyuk after every session but it wasn’t finished yet. He felt that he had only scratched the surface of Sanghyuk’s past and personality. Also, the director had told him that he would have to explain his diagnosis in court. Taekwoon had already offered him some training because he knew how nerve-wracking it was to sit in court and that retaining your credibility was the most important part. 

 

No matter how attracted Hongbin was to Sanghyuk, he wasn’t able to forget that he had murdered an entire family just for fun. It made him hate the younger one, but he had realised that his other emotions were dominating over the hate by now. He was falling for Sanghyuk, and he was falling hard. It was perfectly clear that Sanghyuk wasn’t capable to feel an emotion like love. He was a tremendously well actor, but he didn’t actually feel love or affection but it didn’t matter to Hongbin or at least to his desperate feelings. He was furious at himself for letting it come this far. 

 

The last session was scheduled for today, it was also his final session for the week. It was probably for the better because after being near to Sanghyuk his emotions were on a rollercoaster ride and it influenced his work with the other patients. Something that definitely shouldn’t happen to a professional psychologist. Hongbin was sitting in Taekwoon's office, the third cup of coffee in his hand as he watched his colleague go through some patient files. He had decided to visit Taekwoon because he couldn’t stand the silence in his own office, also he would only obsess about Sanghyuk when he was alone. He felt kind of sad, sad that he wouldn’t see Sanghyuk anymore. It was so completely and utterly wrong that he wanted to rip out his own hair but his emotions were simply out of control. He had considered telling Taekwoon about it all, just to get the constant pressure from his chest but once he had opened his mouth, his throat had closed up. No word had left his mouth and maybe it was for the better. It was only two more times. One session with Sanghyuk and facing him in court, then that little git would be out of his life forever. It was for the best no matter how fierce his heart ached. He hated himself so much for thinking like this. He wanted to smash something, preferably his own head against a wall. 

 

“Have you completed your report yet?” asked Taekwoon, not looking up from his files. He seemed distracted but still made an effort to talk with Hongbin about Sanghyuk. He knew that the whole case haunted Hongbin. It was probably obvious by his jumpy behaviour and tired eyes. 

 

“It’ll need some editing but I wanted to include the last session as well,” explained Hongbin and took a sip from his steaming coffee. 

 

“I could read over it for you if you want,” offered Taekwoon kindly. 

 

“I would appreciate that, it’s my first criminal case after all.” 

 

“I’m still sorry for pushing this case on you because I had no time. You’re good at the whole psychopath thing but still. You seem overwhelmed,” sighed Taekwoon, worry in his voice, and he finally faced Hongbin. His files forgotten on the desk. 

 

“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s just very hard to sit in the same room with Sang-, I mean Mr Han.” Damn, he had slipped. Taekwoon furrowed his eyebrows warily. He had noticed the slip immediately. The way Hongbin had nearly said Sanghyuk as if he was a friend of his. Hongbin felt himself blush furiously in embarrassment but also shame. 

 

“You’re on first name basis with a patient that is also a psychopath?”

 

“I’m not unprofessional but I tend to call my patients by first name when I think or talk about them outside of the clinic.”

 

“Okay,” said Taekwoon, still not sounding convinced, but he let the topic slide. Hongbin felt that it was time to go for him. He said a silent goodbye and was nearly out of the door when Taekwoon said in a warning tone: “Be careful, Hongbin. As charming as they may seem, Psychopaths don’t know what love or friendship means!”

 

Taekwoon's words haunted him and kept replaying themselves in his head. He was well aware of that fact but what really bothered him was that his colleague was starting to suspect something. Hongbin was certain that Taekwoon wouldn’t tell anyone but would try to get Hongbin as far away from Sanghyuk as possible. There would be no need for that though because Hongbin was on his way to the last session. He had made up his mind a while ago and would tell the court that Sanghyuks was mentally stable and could go to prison for life but that he should be kept in a solitary cell. A mental hospital would only be a blessing to that little git. Also, Sanghyuk had to be as far away from him as possible or Hongbin would lose himself. These past few weeks had already changed him radically. When he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see a young psychologist anymore but a tired fool that was falling for a psychopath. Like one of these cliche stories where the woman fell in love with the guy on death row and fanatically believed that he was a good man. Hongbin wouldn’t let it come this far. He still knew that what Sanghyuk had done was wrong and that he would never be a good man, that he would never be able to reciprocate whatever Hongbin was starting to feel for him. Sanghyuk liked to play with people but would never be able to have any genuine feelings for them. Hongbin wasn’t a romantic fool that thought that he might be able to change Sanghyuk. It would only cost him his own life. 

 

At least the security guards were back in the room for the last session. Sanghyuk would surely not dare to push him up against a wall and kiss him, with hands wrapped around Hongbin's throat when others were around. There was a tiny twinge of disappointment blooming inside of Hongbin, but he ignored it as he settled down in his usual place. 

 

There were no handcuffs on Sanghyuk's hand and Hongbin really wondered what their policy was when it came to security. He should probably mention that at the next meeting because this wasn’t safe whatsoever, not that Hongbin minded though. Sanghyuk looked as handsome as usual but Hongbin noticed that his posture looked tired. The trial had begun a few days ago and surely it was tiring to play the perfect son of a business man. To seem innocent while the blood of three people was tainting your hands. 

 

“Our last session and you’re late, Hongbin. I’m very disappointed,” were Sanghyuk's first words. He might seem tired, but he was still ready to play with Hongbin. It probably gave him some type of satisfaction. Or maybe, in Hongbin's very dreamy ridiculous mind, it could be that Sanghyuk had taken a liking to Hongbin. Nonsense. 

 

“Very sorry to disappoint you,” countered Hongbin sarcastically which only made Sanghyuk smile. That smile was just another weapon in the younger one’s arsenal. He knew that it would soften Hongbin bit by bit until he had fallen for him again. However, Hongbin intended not to fall for that, not even one last time. He had to protect himself. 

 

“Any more questions? Last chance,” challenged Sanghyuk, ready for one more game as he leaned back in his seat. 

 

“I doubt that you would give me straight answers.”

 

“You might be right about that.”

 

“Let’s get this over with,” sighed Hongbin. He was already feeling so weary, and they had just started. Sessions with Sanghyuk always drained his energy rapidly. Sanghyuk was just such a strong personality that it was simply not easy to have a conversation with him on an equal level. In the end, Sanghyuk would always win and dominate the conversation but Hongbin always tried his best not to give in directly. 

 

“Sad that you won’t see me again?”

 

“I’ll see you on last time in court, and then we’re done.” Sanghyuk's eyes shortly widened at this new information before a smirk spread across his lips. He had just summoned the devil with his words. Surely, Sanghyuk would make his life a living hell in that court room. 

 

“Such a pity. I’m really starting to like you,” admitted the younger one, but Hongbin knew that it was just a farce. Just another way to make Hongbin weak and sadly it was working, no matter how hard he tried to fight against it. His heart swelled at those words.

 

“I highly doubt that. I highly doubt that you feel any kind of emotion for another human being.”

 

“Oh, someone sounds very negative today. Need to talk about it, Doc?”

 

“Maybe you should watch your mouth,” hissed Hongbin, which was completely unprofessional, but he didn’t bother with that anymore when he was around Sanghyuk. It amused the younger one immensely to see Hongbin jump out of his skin. 

 

“Don’t need to because you’re already doing that for me, right?”

 

Hongbin felt an electric impulse run through his whole body and his eyes couldn’t help themselves but direct their attention to Sanghyuk's plump lips that were formed into a grin. He would simply ignore that comment because there were guards in the same room, listening to everything they said. 

 

“Let me get to the point. You’re a psychopath with a clean background, besides beating one kid up and then organising for others to be beaten up. You killed the Yoon family and have no regrets. Is there anything else that I need to know about you?”

 

“There’s always more, isn’t there? We just scratched the surface. You never asked me if I feel any sexual arousal when I kill or inflict pain. Never thought about asking me if my parents abused me or if I was molested by someone. Sloppy work,” commented Sanghyuk, which made Hongbin's blood boil with anger. For a short moment, all other conflicting emotions were forgotten. If Hongbin couldn’t deal with one thing than it was to be criticised, especially for his work. That kid had some nerves. 

 

“Are you criticising my work?”

 

“I obviously did that but since I like you, I’ll answer all these unasked questions. I tend to be a very nice and forthcoming guy.”

 

“Oh really?” snarked Hongbin sharply, which only fuelled Sanghyuk's amusement. 

 

“Maybe I could show you some time,” said the younger one and licked his lips while his eyes wandered over Hongbin's body. The psychologist ignored how his stomach tightened with want. 

 

“Not interested,” chocked Hongbin. There was a huge lump in his throat, and he wanted to change this topic as fast as possible, if he was ever able to talk again. 

 

“You’re a really bad liar, Hongbin.”

 

“Do I get some answers now or what?”

 

“Impatient, are we? The answer to all of it is a simple no. I’m not aroused by pain or by inflicting it, I was never abused by my parents or anybody else. I had pretty much the perfect childhood and live in general, but I was missing something. Luckily, I found the missing piece, though it’s very bloody,” explained Sanghyuk in his matter of fact voice. In his head killing was something you just did, like eating and peeing. Something completely normal and ordinary. It only emphasised that he was a dangerous person, someone that wouldn’t think twice before plunging a knife into your abdomen. Red flags, Hongbin saw red flags everywhere when it came to Sanghyuk but it was so easy to ignore them. Too easy. 

 

“So nothing that I didn’t already know?”

 

“I hate to disappoint you but I’m pretty simple when it comes to that. I kill because I like it, no tragic backstory that could save my ass in court or anything.”

 

“They’ll send you to prison without thinking twice.”

 

“They might but not if they knew that I was a danger even to my inmates.”

 

“Solitary confinement.”

 

“Exactly!” said Sanghyuk with excitement before he continued in a more levelled voice: “I would do it all over again if I had the choice and if they would let me go. God, I would leave a trail of blood on this earth and would enjoy every second of it.”

 

“Cold-hearted bastard,” slipped out of Hongbin's mouth before he could stop himself. Completely unprofessional. If his past self could see him now than he would be punched in the face pretty hard. 

 

“Ow, that hurt, Hongbin,” laughed Sanghyuk. Silence settled around them. Hongbin made some notes that wouldn’t really be useful to him when he wrote the report but it distracted him from looking at Sanghyuk. The latter was staring holes into Hongbin's head, trying to get Hongbin to look at him. When it wasn’t working, he used his other technique and leaned forward. He minimised the distance between them again and this time Hongbin felt the effects immediately. They were stronger than before, probably emphasised by the heated kiss from last time. His skin warmed, and he felt little shocks running through his body. He lifted his head, finally meeting Sanghyuk's stare. The thick atmosphere could’ve been cut with a knife. 

 

“There’s still a question burning on your tongue, right?” It was more a statement than a question and Hongbin wasn’t inclined to play along, though they both knew better. They both knew what was going on in his head. Still, he only replied: “I don’t know what you’re implying.”

 

“I told you that pain doesn’t arouse me and all you can think about is the way my hand was wrapped around your throat!” Sanghyuk came straight to the point this time and didn’t try to pry it out of Hongbin. Luckily, he had leaned even closer and his voice had been a low whisper or else the guards would’ve heard. Thank God, Hongbin didn’t blush or anything. He kept a relatively cool mask, but he knew that his eyes would give him away anytime. Sanghyuk smirked, he had hit a nerve once again. 

 

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“I just like your throat, it’s perfect for leaving some marks and well, choking is something I would never use on my victims. It’s no fun with them. But seeing your reaction, the way your pupils dilated. It was too irresistible to resist,” whispered the younger one while his dark eyes roamed Hongbin's throat hungrily. It made him gulp and think back to the way Sanghyuk's hands had felt against his skin. That firm grip that was able to control whether Hongbin would live or die. It was exhilarating and made his head spin. The room started to feel too hot and Hongbin really needed to get the hell out of there. 

 

“I think we’re done,” managed Hongbin with a steady voice as he stood up, ready to run from the room. Still, he forced himself to walk at a normal pace. Of course, Sanghyuk had had to have the last word and cat-called: “See you in court, _handsome_!” 

 

 

*******

 

Going to court was like holding a presentation but only worse. Much worse. Hongbin’s stomach had been grumbling all morning. He had barely managed to keep in the toast that Jaehwan had forced on him. The night before he hadn’t been able to sleep as well, so he had decided to stay at Jaehwan’s. It was always easier for him to find sleep on that little couch whenever he was stressed. Maybe it was also Jaehwan’s presence that calmed is frayed nerves. 

 

There was really nothing for him to worry about. Taekwoon had read his report and had nothing to add or critique. Also, he had lectured Hongbin about the court, how he should present himself as well as some other info. Hongbin had never heard Taekwoon talk for that long. It had been a bit spooky after a while. But Hongbin was thankful for all the help since it was his first time being in court after all. Besides all the training, his nervousness didn’t ease. It only got worse over time, especially when it was nearly time for him to enter the court room. 

 

His legs were shaking and the fifth coffee hadn’t been such a good idea. His stomach literally screamed at him, cramped every other minute, and he was probably as white as a sheet. He felt as if he was the accused and not Sanghyuk. Luckily, he hadn’t seen the younger one beforehand, or he would’ve thrown up for real. 

 

The door of the court room opened and his heart started to pump wildly. He surely was about to faint but his body worked on its own. He stood up on shaky legs, gave the security guard a weak smile and entered the room. Once he was in the room, his mind seemed to clear, and he was the professional psychologist he needed to be. He felt normal, more grounded for the first time in weeks. 

 

He walked to his seat, right next to the judge with the jury by his left side. All this time, he didn’t even dare to glance at Sanghyuk because he knew that he would lose his new found calmness again. Once he had settled down though, he couldn’t himself but glance into Sanghyuk's direction. The younger one was in a black formal suit with his hair neatly arranged on his head. As usual, there was a sympathetic smile on his lips, but he nearly grinned when he noticed Hongbin's look. Hongbin averted his eyes quickly, but that image of Sanghyuk in a suit would forever be burned into his head. It would haunt him in a lot of inappropriate dreams. He shook his head inwardly to get rid of these thoughts and focus on his job instead. For once, it actually worked.

 

“Dr Lee, we’re glad that you found the time to come and explain your diagnosis to us,” the prosecutor was the first one to speak. His voice was a dominant booming sound that made Hongbin's ears hurt. That guy was probably full of himself. 

 

“It’s an honour,” the words that came out of his mouth sounded weird to him. As if someone else was speaking for him. Hongbin tried not to think about it too hard. 

 

“Would you care to tell us about your results regarding Mr Han?”

 

“Gladly. During my sessions with Mr Han, we talked about the murders, of course, but also about his childhood. I wanted to cover every aspect of his life before I made the diagnose,” explained Hongbin. Taekwoon had told him to explain his techniques first so that the jury would be able to process how a diagnose was made. 

 

“And what came to light during those sessions?”

 

“There were no traumatic experiences in his childhood or any abuse that would explain his behaviour. Though, he had a distinct tendency towards violence. He beat up a boy at his school without any kind of reason but it was covered up.”

 

“We called the school about that incident, and they confirmed it,” informed the prosecutor while facing the jury.“Please continue.”

 

“After that, he ordered others to do the beating while he observed. Mr Han seems to be fascinated by the concept of pain. However, it wasn’t enough for him over time hence why he committed those murders.”

 

“Was there any kind of sexual motive?” Stereotypical thinking whenever it came up that a person inflicts pain for satisfaction. Hongbin wanted to roll his eyes but kept a neutral face as he explained: “No, Mr Han is very rational about that. He’s only interested in the pain and gets satisfaction out of it but it’s in no way connected to his sexuality.”

 

“Very well. Continue,” said the prosecutor, sounding a bit bitter. The sexual part probably had been an important point to him but Hongbin had smashed that. He had to think about another strategy, so he simply let Hongbin continue, hoping something useful came up. 

 

“During our sessions, Mr Han showed no remorse for what he did and even said that he would do it again if he had a choice.” The prosecutor seemed to literally light up at that and eagerly asked more questions. 

 

“Do you, as a professional, think that Mr Han would commit such a crime again?”

 

“He already admitted to that during one of our sessions and I believe him. There’s a very high chance that he would commit such a crime again and it would only turn worse.”

 

“Thank you very much. No further questions!” The prosecutor had a winning smile on his lips. He was sure that those information would put Sanghyuk behind bars. There was a knot in Hongbin's stomach at the thought of Sanghyuk being in prison. He was ridiculous. Sadly ridiculously crushing on a psychopath but this far he had kept his emotions in check. They had not influenced his words. 

 

The easy part was done. The prosecutor had arranged this in the first place to ensure that Sanghyuk was stable to go to prison. He had only asked Hongbin the questions that would support his side. He hadn’t even let Hongbin get to the diagnosis or asked him what he thought would be the right thing to do. No, those questions would be asked by the defence attorney. Sanghyuk had a satisfied smile on his lips as his attorney walked towards Hongbin. It was an elderly man who had probably done more of these cases than anyone could count. He surely knew how to deal with this. 

 

“Mr Lee, you never got to tell us and the jury your actual diagnosis for Mr Han. Would you please enlighten us?” promoted the lawyer in a soft voice, so much more pleasing than the one of the prosecutor. Also, it was more of a request than an actual order to talk. Hongbin liked this man more already, but he tried not to let it influence him as well. 

 

“Of course, Mr Han is diagnosed as a psychopath,” answered Hongbin honestly and silence fell in the court room. There had always been some kind of background noise, the rustling of papers or murmurs but now everything was eerily silent. Hongbin had to gulp and was glad when Sanghyuk's lawyer broke the silence: “Why as a psychopath and not as a sociopath?”

 

“A sociopath struggles with his emotions and is known for impulsive behaviour. Also, a sociopath might show some kind of remorse for his victims, who are usually very close to him, or he at least knows them.”

 

“So a psychopath shows no remorse and kills strangers, that’s what’ve gathered so far from this,” summarised the lawyer. He did it because the jury had the exact same thoughts. Of course, the lawyer knew better, but he tried to influence the jury, trying to give them as much knowledge as he deemed acceptable for a reasonable penalty. 

 

“You’re right. A psychopath doesn’t know what remorse is and might even think that what he did was the right thing. They also have a tendency towards inflicting pain, but they do it out of amusement rather than out of an emotional impulse,” explained Hongbin, knowing these facts by heart. He saw some jury members nod while others did some notes. 

 

“Let’s say your diagnosis is right, I’m not trying to critic your expertise in any kind of way Doctor, but what would you recommend as a penalty for the accused? Prison?” 

 

Now they were finally coming to the point that Hongbin had been waiting for. Taekwoon had told him to only give a recommendation when he was prompted and had deleted it from Hongbin's report. Hongbin's brain was screaming prison because it would only be right. It would be the option that the family wanted, besides death penalty. Still, his instincts or rather his feelings for the accused told him that a mental institution would be better. At least, Sanghyuk would never get out of that easily and get an appropriate therapy. His emotions were fighting with each other and Hongbin didn’t even know which one was biased and which one neutral. He glanced at Sanghyuk who held him captive with his eyes for a short moment. A memory of the kiss flashed through Hongbin's head. His stomach clenched pleasantly. There was no way that he would be able to escape Sanghyuk, and he didn’t want to anymore. Everybody was waiting for his answer, but he could only look at Sanghyuk. He couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing that face again. Shame and guilt already tainted him, but still he said: “No, prison wouldn’t be the right place for him. Mr Han is a highly dangerous person, feeling no remorse for his victims and is ready to kill anytime. What Mr Han needs is a solitary confinement where his condition can be treated, and he won’t be a danger to others.”

 

“So you would recommend a mental institution over a prison?”

 

“That is correct!”

 

“For example, he would continue to stay in a ward at your clinic then he would never hurt a living soul ever again?” Another tricky question. Sanghyuk had told his lawyer exactly what he wanted, and he always got what he wanted. He wanted to stay at the clinic and torment Hongbin even further. Hongbin's answer would influence the jury not only to send Sanghyuk into a mental institution but also if he stayed at the clinic or not. Hongbin screamed at himself to say something that would get Sanghyuk as far away from him as possible. Any other clinic but his desperate need for Sanghyuk had put him under a spell. The words left his mouth before he could stop himself.

 

“It surely would be the best thing if he stayed at the same place. The staff already knows him and his antics while a new clinic would have some trouble at first. In general, it’s only recommended for a patient to change his psychologist or psychiatrist if there’s a severe reason. But to get back to your question, I can’t promise anything for sure, but he would be monitored very closely at any clinic and kept in solitary confinement as I already recommended. If he never gets out, then no one will be hurt by him again.”

 

“Thank you for clearing that up, Dr Lee. No further questions!” The lawyer seemed satisfied by Hongbin's answer and walked back to his place. Hongbin dared to look into Sanghyuk's direction. The younger had a smirk on his lips. Hongbin had played into Sanghyuk's hand perfectly, driven by his emotions rather than by his rational professionalism. He felt sick and was glad when he was allowed to leave the court room again. 

 

He made his way straight to the restroom and vomited into a toilet. It was normal for him to vomit after a big presentation or talk. The whole day his stomach had been in knots, and they finally vanished when he was done heaving up his breakfast. Knowing himself, he had packed a toothpaste so that he wouldn’t walk around with vomit taste in his mouth all day. For once, he could pat himself on the back for doing something right. However, rinsing his mouth or washing his hands couldn’t undo what he had said in that court room. He had literally signed Sanghyuk's papers to stay at the clinic. Never in all his life had he hated himself more. His emotions had got the better of him and now he would have to deal with the consequences. The director would never let him transfer Sanghyuk's case to Taekwoon because it was his fucking fault that he stayed in the first place. 

 

Hongbin was about to punch the wall when he heard voices. He identified one voice immediately because it haunted him daily. 

 

“…it’s not like I’m going to kill someone in the rest room. Just let a man pee in peace for once,” he heard Sanghyuk's voice say. He sounded rather annoyed thanks to the guards that constantly followed him everywhere. They entered the restroom and Sanghyuk noticed him right away, which made him smirk widely. Hongbin wanted to punch that smirk off his face or smash his lips against it until it disappeared. Both options would be okay to him. 

 

“It’s just my psychologist. I think he can be left alone with me, right Doc?” The guards looked at Hongbin, shrugged and left the restroom. Hongbin wanted to scream at them because they left a fucking psychopath alone with another person. Sanghyuk was on trial for killing three people and his security guards had nothing better to do than leaving him in a restroom with Hongbin. He was about to get them back in but Sanghyuk grabbed his hips swiftly. Before Hongbin was able to register what was happening, he was already pressed against the tiles of the restroom.

 

“Couldn’t bear to be without me, huh?” whispered Sanghyuk against his lips. So close that it made Hongbin dizzy. It was even harder to think when the younger one was that close to him. 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” gasped Hongbin, trying to catch his breath. He didn’t even know why he had such a hard time to breathe properly. Maybe it was because Sanghyuk was pressing him so hard against the tiles. There were no hands against his throat, and he nearly missed it. Not that he would admit that out loud. 

 

“Oh come on, Hongbin. You just told the jury to let me stay at your clinic because it was the safest option.”

 

“It is the safest option.”

 

“Are you sure about that? So your desperate feelings for me didn’t play any role at all?”

 

“I don’t have any desperate feelings for you,” spat Hongbin but it was for nought. They both knew better than that. Sanghyuk only smiled as his eyes hungrily roamed Hongbin's whole face. An electric impulse shot through his body, making his heart pound even faster and direct his blood towards the lower regions of his body. This was neither the time nor the place to pop a fucking boner. 

“Oh really? Your eyes tell me a completely different story. You look at me as if you want to eat me alive. Or want to punch me but I’m used to that by now. Your eyes scream at me to just destroy your body.”

 

“They tell you that I want to be killed?”

 

“Nah that wouldn’t be any fun. They tell me that I should fuck you right against this bathroom wall. They literally beg me every damn time we see each other and I’m only a man. It’s hard to resist you,” whispered Sanghyuk in his ear, hot breath fanning against the shell. Hongbin grabbed Sanghyuk's suit coat in a desperate attempt to keep himself up on his feet. 

 

“The sad truth is that I don’t believe a word you just said,” replied Hongbin. He knew that Sanghyuk was playing with him. The other knew that there was more to Hongbin's attraction than simple sexual desire. Sanghyuk knew that he had fallen for him.

 

“Hmm. Maybe I should show you. Show you that your feelings aren’t one-sided,” said Sanghyuk smoothly, his lips slightly grazing Hongbin's cheeks. 

 

“Screw you,” was all Hongbin managed to say. Sanghyuk laughed lowly before he finally pressed their lips together. There was no shock paralysing Hongbin's body this time. His hands immediately wandered into Sanghyuk's hair, destroying the perfect hairdo, but he couldn’t care less. Sanghyuk was just as eager, judging by the way he fervently licked Hongbin's lips and pushed their bodies closer together. Hongbin didn’t even think twice and opened his mouth willingly, desperate to taste Sanghyuk again. He had become addicted to his taste and smell. It was Hongbin's kryptonite, making him weaker with every passing second, but he couldn’t tear himself away either. 

 

He was making out with a psychopath in the restroom of a fucking court house. Something was definitely wrong with him. He sickened himself but there was no way that he would stop now. This was what he wanted, what he needed. Sanghyuk's plump lips against his, their tongues intertwined and their bodies impossibly close. He felt how his pants started to become too tight but as Sanghyuk moved their hips against each other, he noticed that he wasn’t the only one with a problem in his pants. However, they weren’t able to go any further because they heard a pounding on the door. 

 

“Break is over in two minutes,” thundered one of the security guards. Hongbin had to suppress a whine and Sanghyuk didn’t seem pleased as well. The younger one licked Hongbin’s lips slowly and left one sensual but short kiss on them before going to one of the sinks. Hongbin's legs were like jelly, and he was glad that the wall kept him upright. 

 

“I love that wrecked look on you but you should really tidy yourself up,” commented Sanghyuk when he studied Hongbin from head to toe. The older one tried to tidy his hair and get his clothes back into order while hissing: “Thanks for the great advice.”

 

“Always a pleasure to help you,” replied Sanghyuk as he got his hair back in order. A few twists of his long fingers and it was back in perfect shape. Hongbin tried not to stare at those fingers for too long. 

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Soon. Very soon.”

 

It was a promise that made Hongbin's blood rush with excitement. He had the urge to punch some sense into himself because he shouldn’t be excited about the prospect of being fucked by a psychopath. Said psychopath walked over to him again, a big smirk on his red lips. 

 

“See you soon, Hongbin,” whispered Sanghyuk into his ear before he left the restroom, leaving him breathless against the wall. 

 

*******

 

Later that day, he drove to Jaehwan. Ready to confess everything about Sanghyuk and trying to get help. However, when he was about to spill the beans, Taekwoon called him. Breaking the news that Sanghyuk had escaped from his cell and was on the loose. 


	4. PART FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** explicit sexual content (specific warnings: barebacking, edging  & slight dirty talk); blood and violence, psychological manipulation
> 
> **Notes:** Here it is, the part you've all been secretly waiting for. Get ready for 2k words of smut (for which I'll go to hell). Also, thank you for all your comments they are really motivational and I'm glad to see that you actually like what I've written. If I missed any warning then please let me know. I hope you enjoy this part because it'll be the last one for this story.

 

_If you love somebody, you wouldn't leave them even if they treat you badly. - Psycho_

_\---_

**PART 4**

 

He had made sure that Jaehwan was safe at Taekwoon's flat before he went home. A dreadful fear had filled his body, forced him to call his family members and friends to stay in their fucking houses because he was terrified that Sanghyuk would go after them. He didn’t know how dangerous Sanghyuk was right now and what he might be up to. Hongbin wasn’t even sure that he was going to hurt him, but he felt better knowing that his family was rather safe. They lived far away but one train trip and Sanghyuk would be knocking on their door. Hongbin had even described Sanghyuk to them so that they wouldn’t even think about opening the door. It was ridiculous, but they were talking about a psychopath. A potential serial killer. Hongbin had not only got himself in danger but others as well with his stupid affair or whatever that was. He shouldn’t have taken that job in the first place. He should’ve demanded that Taekwoon took the case, someone that knew how to handle this kind of people and not fall for them. Hongbin had fallen for Sanghyuk even though he had known better. He could only blame himself should something happen to anybody that was close to him. 

 

He had punched the wall several times out of anger. His knuckles were bleeding and his hand felt a bit numb, but he would be all right. The wounds had been cleaned and wrapped. Now, he was pacing through his flat in the middle of the night. He had just barely managed to get out of his suit and make himself some coffee. He wouldn’t sleep tonight or ever again unless Sanghyuk was behind bars again. His stomach was in knots, telling him that Sanghyuk would come by sooner or later. Either after he had killed someone or beforehand to get his blood pumping. It made him sick, but he wasn’t able to vomit, there was nothing in his stomach beside a lot of coffee. He had called Taekwoon two times already, checking up on them, but they’ve been okay so far. He was tempted to call again, but he was sure that Taekwoon would strangle him through the phone if he dared. 

 

One look at the clock told him that it was just a few minutes after midnight. This night was never going to end. He groaned loudly and got himself another cup of coffee. He wouldn’t die because of Sanghyuk hands but due to caffeine poisoning. As long as he stayed awake, everything was going to be fine. He just had to live through this night.

 

The next day, he woke up on the couch. He had fallen asleep around 3 AM and nothing had happened. No sign of Sanghyuk, everybody was all right and no murder had happened. Hongbin was glad for the most part, but there was also a tiny part inside of him that was disappointed that Sanghyuk hadn’t come to him. He felt so ridiculous for being in love with a fucking psychopath. 

 

*******

 

Three days passed and nothing happened. They didn’t manage to find Sanghyuk and Sanghyuk didn’t come to Hongbin either. Hongbin didn’t even know why he had expected Sanghyuk to come to him straight away, but he was disappointed for no reason at all. His mood was horrible and his boss had even sent him off into an early weekend on Friday. Neither Taekwoon nor Jaehwan dared to ask what was wrong. They just let it slide and didn’t bring up Sanghyuk in a conversation. However, they tried to distract Hongbin. They had been in the karaoke bar this Friday but Hongbin had only managed to get himself wasted instead of having fun. Jaehwan had asked him a few hours ago if he wanted to grab a bite but Hongbin had declined, not wanting any kind of social interaction today. It was a Saturday, and he was lying on his sofa like a loser. At least his hangover had faded during the day, and he felt remotely better again. Less like a train wreck and more like a person.

 

A knock on his door startled him out of his self-pity, and he cursed under his breath. If this was Jaehwan with Chinese take out then he would punch his friend first and kiss him for blessing him with food afterwards. He opened the door, ready to see his best friends smiling face, but he was greeted by a face that he had decided he never wanted to see again. Sanghyuk leaned casually against the door frame, a smirk on his lips and his hair tousled. Hongbin did what no person should ever do when facing a psychopath and punched him in the jaw. Sanghyuk nearly lost his footing, but he didn’t seem shocked by that kind of reaction. He rubbed his jaw grinning before he pushed Hongbin into the flat, closing the door with his foot. 

 

“I guess someone is not in a good mood?” laughed Sanghyuk as he tried to get into Hongbin's personal space, but the latter was having none of that. He walked into his living room before Sanghyuk was able to push him up against a wall again. His living room was relatively open, directly connected to his bedroom and it gave him more space to breathe. Sanghyuk easily invaded a whole room with his presence but it was less pressing in a bigger room. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Did you expect that I throw a party once I see your stupid face?” hissed Hongbin and crossed his arms in front of his chest until he realised how silly it seemed. He felt like a wife that was angry at her husband for coming back home too late. 

 

“No, but I expected a frenzied kiss,” admitted Sanghyuk grinning, walking over to Hongbin who took a step back. 

 

“Frenzy, my ass.”

 

“We’ll get to that later. You didn’t miss me at all?”

 

“Not one bit and you should really get your ass out of my home!”

 

“You know, any sane person would’ve called the police instead of punching me in the face and then throwing me out of their flat. You must really like me,” mused the younger one as he wrapped one arm around Hongbin's waist and pulled him closer. Hongbin might be very angry, irritated and confused, but he wouldn’t fight against physical contact with Sanghyuk. It was just so easy to give into him. His brain reminded him that he was in the arms of a killer but Hongbin couldn’t care less. He had become too reckless to care.

 

“Oh don’t flatter yourself,” he said belated, too drunk on Sanghyuk's smell to even form a proper sentence. 

 

“Are you mad that I didn’t come to you straight away? Don’t be mad, _babe,_ ” whispered the younger one against his ear and Hongbin's whole body went rigid. Sanghyuk noticed the change as well and mustered the other with interest. 

 

“What did you just call me?” asked Hongbin perplexed. His brain was working overtime and his body seemed to finally come to life again as well. Blood rushed into his lower body parts while his heart pounded loudly. He could feel it in his throat and Sanghyuk eyed the visible pulse at Hongbin's throat. The younger one licked his lips. This conversation clearly went into a direction that he liked. 

 

“I called you babe. Do you like it?” inquired Sanghyuk. He had found a weak spot again, and he would surely use it against Hongbin. The younger one didn’t torture him with a knife or anything along the lines. No, he used psychological torture because it would mark Hongbin forever. Scars tended to fade from the skin but not from the soul. And Hongbin should know better than that, but he had fallen right into Sanghyuk's trap. His body was working against him, pushing itself closer to Sanghyuk. 

 

“Fucking asshole.”

 

“You love it, _babe._ ”

 

The nickname made Hongbin snap. Their lips collided, teeth crashing shortly before they found the right pace. It was like the kisses from before. Frenzied, lustful and heated. Hongbin felt the effects of it immediately. His skin felt too hot, too tight. He needed his clothes off as quickly as possible, and he needed Sanghyuk to get closer. However, the younger was having none of that. He was the one in control and slowed their kiss, which made Hongbin whine before he could stop himself. He felt Sanghyuk grin against his lips and Hongbin wanted to bite his tongue but the other one squeezed his hips tightly as a warning before one of his hands wandered to Hongbin's butt. Sanghyuk squeezed it and Hongbin couldn’t help himself but moan loudly into the younger one’s mouth. Their tongues glided slowly against each other and it was the worst kind of torture. Hongbin really needed more but Sanghyuk slowed him down even more whenever he tried something. He was just another victim, but he secretly loved it. 

 

They broke the kiss to catch their breath. However, Sanghyuk didn’t need a long pause since his mouth latched itself onto Hongbin's throat quickly. His plump lips sucked the soft skin into his mouth. Hongbin felt a slight pain which was emphasised when Sanghyuk bit him. It only made him moan louder, and he hoped that his neighbours wouldn’t hear him. He wouldn’t dare to hide his sounds because Sanghyuk seemed to enjoy them, and he wouldn’t deny a psychopath what he wanted. Hongbin tried to get as much oxygen into his burning lungs as he could while Sanghyuk left marks on his skin.

 

“Should we move this to your bedroom or do you still want to throw me out?” asked Sanghyuk against his skin. Hongbin could feel his mischievous smile which made the urge to punch the younger one surface again. However, he simply pulled Sanghyuk towards the bedroom while saying: “Shut up and move.”

 

“Hmm, I don’t like that tone,” murmured Sanghyuk before he bit Hongbin's neck. The bite wasn’t as soft as the ones before but meant to inflict pain. Hongbin felt the pain spread through his body and that his pants tightened even more. There would be a nice big mark on his neck tomorrow, but he wouldn’t complain. A hiss left his mouth that turned into a moan when Sanghyuk pushed their hips against each other. He started a deliciously slow rhythm that drove Hongbin out of his mind. It was embarrassing how freely the moans fell from his lips, but he was in no state to keep them back. Sanghyuk's cold eyes roamed him with hunger, a hunger that Hongbin had never seen before. The younger one slipped one hand into Hongbin's sweatpants and suddenly stopped their rutting. This time Hongbin was able to hold back a whine and met Sanghyuk's amused stare. This morning it had seemed like a good idea to skip underwear for the day, now it seemed dirty and Hongbin felt himself blush furiously. 

 

“No underwear, hmm. Naughty,” said Sanghyuk as his hands freely roamed over Hongbin’s naked skin. “I like it!”

 

Their lips locked into a kiss again and Hongbin was able to relax his body and even enjoy Sanghyuk's cold hands on his feverishly hot skin. Sanghyuk's words had evoked some kind of pride inside of him. As if he was proud that he had pleased Sanghyuk. His brain tried to alarm him, tell him that he was slipping into dangerous territory, but he wasn’t listening. His body had the upper hand and his body wanted clothes gone and Sanghyuk's hands all over his skin instead. 

 

On their way to the bedroom, Sanghyuk lost his jacket and shirt, while Hongbin lost his pants and his t-shirt as well just before was thrown on his bed. Sanghyuk stood in front of him, towering over his naked body with a triumphant smile on his lips. Hongbin didn’t dare to break the eye contact, but it was hard when he saw Sanghyuk's hands work on his belt. The younger one opened the buckle and then the button of his pants, not bothering to get completely rid of the belt first. Hongbin felt himself harden even more as he beheld Sanghyuk. The way his dark hair was tousled, his lean stomach was on display and the way his black trousers were open. It was such a suggestive picture, and he would surely never forget it. 

 

Sanghyuk crawled over him, trapping Hongbin under his body before he started to leave marks on Hongbin's skin again. He was precise and made sure that every body part of Hongbin had been marked by him. Sanghyuk had reached his abdomen by now and Hongbin felt excitement in his stomach because this was really happening. He had dreamed about this for weeks, as he sadly had to admit, but it was so much better. Sanghyuk was a rough lover, but he wasn’t a rushed one. He took his time to tear Hongbin apart with lust. He would let Hongbin wait until he begged for more and even then he wouldn’t give it to him right away. Usually, Hongbin wasn’t that submissive in the bedroom but Sanghyuk controlled him like a puppet. He would do anything the younger one told him to do. It was scary how much he wanted this and how easy it was to lose himself in the pleasure. 

 

“Your skin looks beautiful in the colour red but I bet it looks even better when those marks turn a nice shade of blue and violet,” said Sanghyuk and pressed his fingers against a big mark on Hongbin's throat. The latter hissed audibly but didn’t complain because the pain was welcome. It made his skin sizzle while arousal spread through his veins. Hongbin had never felt this way before, but he had never let a lover mark him like this. As if he was a property. It was so wrong but Sanghyuk made everything seem right. Anything would be acceptable right now. They were walking on a very dangerous line. Before his brain could start to think about it properly, he was distracted again by a heavy kiss. His hands settled themselves into Sanghyuk's hair, their favourite spot. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk's hands lightly scratched his abdomen which made him moan into their kiss. Just like he had imagined it in his dreams. Maybe he was dreaming if this was the case then god forbid when someone would wake him up. A choked moan escaped his throat when one of Sanghyuk's hands grabbed his member, softly stroking it. 

 

“Surprised? That’s the whole point of being naked.”

 

“To get jacked off by a psychopath?”

 

“You take everything way too seriously,” laughed Sanghyuk as he tightened his grip around Hongbin's cock. “Maybe you should relax, for once in a while.”

 

Sanghyuk set a horribly slow pace but at least his grip was hard. Hongbin threw his head back into the pillows and simply let the moans flow from his mouth, no matter how wanton they sounded. He felt Sanghyuk's eyes roam over his body, drinking in the view in front of him. Surely, he was enjoying to see Hongbin this wrecked because it was sickly satisfying to him. He had cracked Hongbin open and now devoured him without consequences. Hongbin would regret this once they were done because he was giving himself completely away, not only his body but also his heart. Even though he knew better, he had fallen for Sanghyuk, for a psychopath that would never be able to reciprocate his feelings. His heart would get broken one way or another, but he was making it only harder for himself. However, Sanghyuk made sure that he couldn’t think about this too much and just lose himself in the pleasure. 

 

Hongbin himself was getting a bit bolder though and his hands glided over Sanghyuk's soft skin, a tentative request. The younger one didn’t complain and continued their kiss, it was a go sign for Hongbin. He let his hands roam freely over the currently exposed skin of Sanghyuk and wandered close to his pants. 

 

“Want them off, don’t you?” teased Sanghyuk and took Hongbin's hand in one of his free ones. He directed it straight into his boxers, and they both gasped when Hongbin touched Sanghyuk's hardened member. Their eyes met and for once Hongbin saw something else in those dark eyes than cold calculation. There was a fiery lust hidden behind them and Hongbin had caused that. His chest swelled with pride at pleasing the younger one and started to move his hands slowly. Sanghyuk allowed Hongbin this little dominance for a few minutes, as he enjoyed being stroked while lapping at Hongbin's skin and left more marks. 

 

“Now, we don’t want the fun to end too quickly, right?” breathed Sanghyuk against hips lips as he pulled Hongbin's hand out of his pants. The older really began to question how Sanghyuk was able to deal with this slow pace. Hongbin wanted to get the point and be fucked into the pillows but Sanghyuk loved this slow torturous pace. Why was he even surprised about this again? 

 

Sanghyuk kissed Hongbin's lips before they wandered over his throat and further down his body. Hongbin's nerves were wired, ready for whatever Sanghyuk would give him. Sanghyuk sucked another mark into Hongbin's skin just above his pelvic bone. He eyed it proudly before his lips wandered down even further. Hongbin felt his stomach flip with excitement but Sanghyuk simply ignored his erection, kissed around it and instead started to mark Hongbin's thighs. It was a slow procedure, during which Sanghyuk jacked him off once in a while to drive him further to the edge but never let him cross it. Hongbin wanted to rip his own hair out because he couldn’t take this edging anymore. He was always so close until Sanghyuk decided to stop again. He was about to do something, he didn’t know what but something that would get him off when Sanghyuk suddenly licked a long stripe up his shaft. A very low and embarrassing whine escaped his lips while his body turned into a puddle of lust. Sanghyuk took his hands and pinned them to the bed, knowing that Hongbin would try to force him down. 

 

Hongbin glared at Sanghyuk who only smiled. They held eye contact as Sanghyuk engulfed all of him into his mouth in one go. A scream might’ve come out of his mouth, but he couldn’t be sure. Hongbin was too lost in the pleasure to notice anything. Sanghyuk began to suck him off properly and there was no way that Hongbin wouldn’t come this time. Well, the younger one thought differently and squeezed the base of Hongbin's cock to stop his orgasm. Hongbin couldn’t stifle the sob that escaped his lips as the dry orgasm hit him. With a pop his still hard member left Sanghyuk's mouth who licked his red lips as if he had eaten a very delicious meal. Hongbin wanted to smash that cocky grin off his face, but he wasn’t sure that he would be able to move his muscles at all. 

 

“Don’t give me that look. You’ll get what you want soon enough but like I said we don’t want the fun to end yet.”

 

“Fucking douchebag,” cursed Hongbin breathlessly, but he only got another smile from Sanghyuk who finally loosened his grip around Hongbin's base. 

 

“Such a dirty mouth. Can that dirty mouth tell me where you keep your lube?”

 

“Nightstand, first drawer,” was the automatic reply. Hongbin surely wouldn’t play around when he was so close to being fucked properly. 

 

“That’s my babe,” there was that pet name again that made him feel hot all over. It was the worst kind of drug, combined with Sanghyuk's voice but it made his head spin so deliciously. The younger one found the lube without any problem and laid it next to Hongbin's head. He heaved one of Hongbin's legs on his shoulders and spread him open for him. He was handling Hongbin as if he was a puppet, directing him how he wanted him to lie and Hongbin let it happen. If he still had any kind of dignity left then he would be ashamed but there was room for such thoughts right now. He could only think about those long fingers buried inside of him. That thought alone made his stomach contract with lust and his body felt feverish. 

 

“I’m surprised that you even consider using lube,” said Hongbin to distract himself from the wait. Every cell of his body anticipated the penetration and seeing how Sanghyuk lubed his finger through fully didn’t make it better. 

 

“Oh come on. I’m not that cruel.”

 

“You tortured and killed three people,” said Hongbin in a flat voice which only made Sanghyuk roll his eyes playfully. This was seriously funny to him. Hongbin wanted to punch Sanghyuk again, but he also wanted those fingers to finally enter him. In the end, lust won again. 

“Wow, you really always have to bring that up.” Sanghyuk sounded as if he had just made one bad fashion choice in his life and Hongbin was still judging him for that. They were talking about the life's of three people as if they had just been an accident. Hongbin was sickened by himself, a feeling that he had got used to over the past weeks. 

“Yeah because that’s the reason why we even know each other.”

 

“And aren’t you glad for it? Because if I wasn’t a killing psychopath then you would’ve never been in this situation.”

 

“Maybe it would be for the better.”

 

“Oh most probably, but let’s be real. You’re enjoying this way too much to regret anything and neither do I. I may be fascinated by pain but I can inflict it in so many ways and open you up very slowly will be just as satisfying as cutting a throat!” 

 

Sanghyuk's middle finger entered Hongbin and this whole conversation was forgotten. All Hongbin was able to say was a “Fuck” that turned into a moan when Sanghyuk slowly began to move his finger. Hongbin had fingered himself a lot after all those wet dreams and was used to the stretch by now. It wasn’t uncomfortable anymore but rather something that he enjoyed. He hadn’t been like this before, everything had changed drastically after he had met Sanghyuk. None of these changes were in any way good or wanted but Hongbin had embraced them because he was sick of fighting his own emotions. 

 

More marks were left on his body while another finger entered him. It made him want to sob because he was so close to coming again but Sanghyuk had a firm grip around his base again. He wouldn’t let Hongbin come that easily and it was the worst kind of torture. Sometimes, Hongbin thought that it would be better if Sanghyuk just treated him like his other victims. Then at least this torture would find some kind of ending but Sanghyuk wasn’t going to kill him. He was certain about that because he wouldn’t want to miss the despair on Hongbin's face once he started to regret this night. If he killed Hongbin than it would be too easy, he would have no one to play with anymore. He would only end it when he was sick of playing with Hongbin but even then he wouldn’t kill Hongbin. He would revel in Hongbin's desperation to get him back, to get back whatever they had. Hongbin realised all of this just now and it brought him to tears, but he wouldn’t stop. It would be wiser, but he was so close, so close. He simply needed this. His own desperation made him sick. 

 

Another finger slipped into him and his muscles were jelly by now. He didn’t know if he could deal with this any longer. He was about to explode but Sanghyuk just wouldn’t let him. They must’ve been at it for at least an hour now or that’s how it felt to Hongbin. It only got worse when Sanghyuk found his prostate and massaged it continuously. Their bodies were covered with sweat by now and the sheets were an utter mess but Hongbin could only bring himself to care about the next push and pull of those long fingers. 

 

“I think it’s time that I stop riling you up, right?” whispered Sanghyuk against his lips before he locked them into a kiss. Hongbin loved those kisses, they eased his dizzy head, and he was addicted to them. 

 

“About damn time,” he managed to gasp between kisses. 

 

“If you could see yourself, you wouldn’t stop either,” explained Sanghyuk and took Hongbin's bottom lip between his teeth. He bit it lightly before sucking it into his mouth. Hongbin wanted to die because this was worse than the finger fucking. Sanghyuk knew how to drive him mad and used every technique he had. He eased his fingers out of Hongbin who whined at the loss. It only made Sanghyuk smile. The younger one still had his pants on but finally got rid of them. Once his boxers were out of the way, Hongbin caught a glimpse of his cock and had to gulp. No wonder he had been prepped for such a long time. Sanghyuk lubed his member through fully while Hongbin swore to himself that he would give Sanghyuk a blow job one day. He wouldn’t want to miss that opportunity.  

 

His hands grabbed the sheets as Sanghyuk held his hips and slowly entered Hongbin. It was slow, excruciating but the best feeling that he had ever encountered. Even Sanghyuk couldn’t stop a moan from escaping his lips. It was the only sound beside some grunts afterwards but it would forever be burned into Hongbin's memory. This whole night would haunt him forever. Sometimes he would remember it and hate himself, be ashamed that he had let such a person get this close to him. But other times, his hands would wander into his pants, and he would try to relive every second of this night while he jacked himself off.

 

Sanghyuk's grip on his waist was unforgiving and would surely leave its marks, but they would be welcome. Their pain would be a pleasing reminder. The thrusts were slow but hard, not how Hongbin usually liked it. Most of his nights between the sheets were fast and rough, not this drawn out but Sanghyuk was in complete control. He decided the pace and Hongbin gladly followed it. Even in this lustful haze, his brain screamed at him how utterly wrong this was. How wrong it should feel to feel Sanghyuk's length glide against his walls or how wrong it was to kiss him, tongues intertwined. It was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong and he knew it. He knew better. In the end, he could only blame himself for ever agreeing to this. 

 

His thoughts vanished once again when Sanghyuk hit his prostate straight on and his nerves were on fire. If he didn’t know better, then he would say that this was dying must feel like. A desperate need to end this torture but surely it would never feel this good. Sanghyuk looked him straight in the eyes with that typical smirk on his lips. It made his heart race rapidly. Hongbin was so screwed. 

 

“We both have been fantasising about this since we first met, right? I saw you and I knew that I had to destroy you but not as I usually would. There was something about you that challenged me, that wanted me to tear you apart from the inside out. When we kissed and I had you pressed against that wall, I knew that I had won. I look into your eyes and see that I’m the only one that you can think about. That I’m the one you think about when you’re alone in your bed.” 

 

Every word the younger said was underlined by another slow thrust. Hongbin wasn’t able to answer, too lost in the pleasure, but he listened closely, drowning in Sanghyuk’s voice. 

 

“Every session, I waited for you to break but you wouldn’t give yourself away completely but when you sat in that court room. You sat there and looked at me and there was finally a crack. You forgot about your job, your duty, your professionalism and instead let yourself be led by your feelings for me. I was so pleased with you that I simply had to corner you in that bathroom. My kiss was a praise and you enjoyed it. You enjoy pleasing me, don’t you?” Hongbin should feel ashamed, but he was just too lost. There was no wrong or right anymore, only Sanghyuk thrusting into him and holding his hips at the perfect angle. He nodded his head fervently, ready to please Sanghyuk again. Through half-lidded eyes, he managed to see that fucking smirk widen and it made his heart swell.

 

“And now, you lie underneath me, all spread out and wrapped around my cock. You cracked completely, gave yourself to me and I couldn’t be more pleased. You’re mine now. All of you. Isn’t that right, Hongbin?” His words were persuasive, making it even harder to think, but he was right. Hongbin had given himself completely away, and he felt no remorse but no pride either. He could only nod in agreement but this time it wasn’t enough for Sanghyuk. One of his hands wrapped themselves around Hongbin's throat and a mix between panic and even more arousal spread through his body. Sanghyuk's hand at his throat drove him insane. 

 

“I want to hear you say it,” sang Sanghyuk, closely against his lips. Hongbin could barely think due to all the pleasure and form words with his mouth seemed impossible. Sanghyuk snapped his hips forward, a bit harder and faster this time. It made Hongbin moan loudly but Sanghyuk slowed down again immediately. 

 

“I’m waiting.”

 

“Y..yours,” hiccuped Hongbin as the hand around his throat tightened. He felt dizzy and was starting to see stars but it was just too good. 

 

“Hmm, a bit louder maybe,” mused Sanghyuk, starting to pick up his speed again. It took him a while to realise but the pace changed when he admitted that he belonged to Sanghyuk. It was so fucking wrong to admit it in the first place, because no one owned him, but he was desperate and would do anything to please Sanghyuk. Anything to make him go faster. Also, his heart swelled with pride, knowing that he belonged to Sanghyuk, no matter how ridiculous it actually sounded. 

 

“Yours,” Hongbin managed to say louder and clearer this time. That seemed to please Sanghyuk as his thrusts became faster. They had been dancing around for far too long. Sanghyuk had let him wait for an eternity but now he was finally close. Hongbin sounded frenzied when he repeated ‘yours’ all over again, louder each time but Sanghyuk was thrusting even faster. He could hear the bed creak over his own desperate moans and words while Sanghyuk whispered praises into his ear. This time Sanghyuk didn’t stop his orgasm and it hit Hongbin like a train. All the edging had taken its toll on him, and he was coming so hard that it was nearly embarrassing. Sanghyuk grunted into his ear when Hongbin tightened around him and snapped his hips at lightning speed, trying to find his own high as well. It only took him a few more minutes, using Hongbin's body as the latter tried to come down from his high. He felt his own body tighten when Sanghyuk came deep inside of him, and he was sure that another orgasm had hit him, but he didn’t know anything anymore. There was just pure bliss and maybe a bit of shame. Sanghyuk panted against his marked skin. They were a sweaty mess, mixed with all that come. God, that was gross, especially when he felt how it leaked out of him. 

 

“I like seeing you all wrecked and marked up,” admitted Sanghyuk as he sat up and laid down next to Hongbin. They were both trying to catch their breath and Hongbin was also trying hard not to fall asleep. However, he wanted to get himself washed before he could even think about going to sleep. If he was ever able to move his limbs again. He swam in the afterglow of his orgasm and Sanghyuk’s praise but a dreadful feeling started to form inside of him. He didn’t like it at all but luckily, Sanghyuk was there to distract him from reality. The younger one’s hands touched every mark, his lips had left, and he seemed very satisfied with his work. Hongbin really wanted to punch him but mostly he wanted to punch himself because his heart swelled with pride and love. In this moment, when he looked at Sanghyuk, he felt love. A feeling that he shouldn’t feel for someone like Sanghyuk because it was wrong. Wrong to the outer world but the lines between wrong and right were already blurred in his head. 

 

Suddenly, his phone rang, and he was having a mild heart attack. Sanghyuk was startled at first as well but easily got Hongbin's phone out of his trousers and passed it to him. Jaehwan had texted him, asking him if he wanted to have breakfast tomorrow, which basically meant that they would eat at Hongbin's flat. He didn’t know what to answer because Sanghyuk was still beside him and didn’t seem to move anywhere anytime soon. He had looked over Hongbin's shoulder and read the message easily. 

 

“Tell him to come,” said Sanghyuk but it nearly sounded like an order. However, that wasn’t was irritating Hongbin. He hadn’t expected Sanghyuk to stay the night, but he was disappointed nonetheless and couldn’t help but ask rather weakly: “You’re not staying?”

 

“No. What did you expect? I’m a wanted criminal. I fly off to Rome in a few hours.” Sanghyuk's voice sounded strangely cold, not as enticing as usual or maybe Hongbin was finally waking up from his lovey dovey trance. 

 

“So you just made sure that you would torture me on last time before you leave forever?” hissed Hongbin and stood up. Luckily, his legs weren’t like jelly anymore and held his weight. He was naked and starting to have a fight with a psychopath. Could his life become any weirder?

 

“Not forever, babe. Of course, I’ll come back but I’ll just lie low for a while until they stop searching for me. Just wanted to make sure that you got what you wanted before I leave,” explained Sanghyuk, his voice back to its soothing tone but Hongbin wasn’t going to fall for that now. He would put his fucking foot down for once, no matter how dangerous it was to stand off to a psychopath. 

 

“How generous of you.”

 

“Hmm. Let me make it up to you in the shower. You surely won’t forget this night and I’ll be back in no time, ready to play some more with you.”

 

“How can you be so sure that I won’t have moved on by then?” asked Hongbin as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and the question seemed to irritate Sanghyuk. There was a flash of anger in his eyes but it easily vanished. Sanghyuk was always in control, it pissed Hongbin off. 

 

“You won’t get over me that easily. I leave permanent marks wherever I go and should there be someone new in your life. Well, then I’ll think about something to get rid of them,” mused Sanghyuk with a small smile on his lips. Hongbin wouldn’t believe anything he said. The younger one was just playing with his mind, trying to make him believe that he might have genuine feelings for him but Hongbin knew better and this time he didn’t ignore his knowledge. 

 

“I don’t believe a word you say. Psychopaths don’t kill out of jealousy. You don’t even love me, you just want to own me,” stated Hongbin, and he felt like he was winning for once. He was winning against Sanghyuk and would be able to break out of whatever fucked up relationship they had. However, Sanghyuk didn’t seem to think so. He stood up, his naked body fully on display but Hongbin forced himself to only look at his face. Sanghyuk started to walk towards him but Hongbin didn’t back away. 

 

“That sounds very negative, Hongbin. Just a few minutes ago, you liked the thoughts of being owned by me,” countered Sanghyuk, his voice like silk. That voice did things to Hongbin, made his head dizzy. His body reacted immediately. There was a tiny spark of lust inside of him even though he had just had some very satisfying sex. Who was he kidding, it had been mind-blowing. His self-confidence started to crumble, and he searched for words. 

 

“I- … That was in the heat of the-“

 

“You can lie to yourself and anyone else but not to me. You knew what you’ve got yourself into and never backed out. You had so many chances but you always came back to me, wanting and needing more. You know that I’m not capable of feeling love and still, you fell in love with me. There’s no way that you’d ever forget me or not come back once I’m back. Sure, you’ll try to fight, you’re feisty like that but sooner or later you’ll give in and lie underneath me, screaming my name, begging me for more. You don’t care that I don’t love you, just as long as I want to own you. We both win.”

 

Sanghyuk had won once again. Ridiculous as he was, Hongbin had really believed he would be able to win an argument against a psychopath. Sanghyuk had let him to believe that he was winning only to break him down again. Hongbin was furious both at Sanghyuk and himself. He had lost his self-confidence and let his emotions take control over him again. It was no use to try and keep a cool head when it was impossible to win this discussion. 

 

“You’re so full of yourself, it makes me physically sick,” spat Hongbin. His anger seemed to amuse Sanghyuk only more. They were walking in circles again and Hongbin already knew how this would end and his poor heart would have to take all of it. 

 

“But you also know that I’m telling the truth. There’s no escape anymore, you missed your last exit when you let me into your home. Your life may move on while I’m gone but once I’m back, you’ll also be back in my arms.”

 

Sanghyuk had walked towards him slowly, like a predator stalking towards its victim. Hongbin had backed away, of course. His basic human instincts told him to get as far away from Sanghyuk as possible, but he had walked into a trip. His back hit the wall and Sanghyuk invaded his personal space easily. 

 

“And you’re so certain because?”

 

“Because I have you pushed against a wall with spread legs and aroused while we have a discussion. A few words and you’re under my spell again,” stated Sanghyuk simply and Hongbin noticed only now that his body was ready for another round. He hated everyone and everything right now. 

 

“I fucking hate your guts,” cursed the older one under his breath while Sanghyuk easily took hold of his half-erected member and pumped into full hardness. 

 

“No, you don’t.” 

 

They started to kiss again, frenzied and then slow. Hongbin wrapped his long legs around Sanghyuk's waist, as the latter lifted him up. Hongbin lost himself easily in this world of lust because it made him forget the horrible reality of his situation. 

 

They fucked against the wall and later in the shower when they tried to clean themselves. Hongbin's body was begging him to stop. All his muscles were screaming, and he was half-asleep in the shower after they were done. He barely remembered falling into the bed and being wrapped in a blanket. His sleepy brain thought that it was kind of sweet that Sanghyuk tucked him in, but he knew that it was just another strategy. All of Sanghyuk's moves were calculated and happened for a reason. He wasn’t doing this out of fondness but to make Hongbin believe that he actually might care. It was cruel but worked because the last thing Hongbin thought before falling asleep was that there might be some hope for Sanghyuk. 

 

 

*******

 

Something cold was pressed against his naked abdomen and it irritated him. He opened his bleary eyes, trying to remember where he was. The last night crashed into his brain and it was a wonder that he didn’t throw up right away. He was still naked and lying in his bed with the same dirty sheets. They smelled like Sanghyuk and it filled his heart with warmth. God, he really hated himself. 

 

Back to the cold thing at his abdomen. He wanted to look at it but a face came into his field of vision. Sanghyuk's handsome face with a pleasant smile. Hongbin's heart pounded fast immediately, partly due to panic but mostly due to his silly affection. It was ridiculous to imagine that one day he might wake up and always see that face and Sanghyuk would kiss him softly, lovingly. It was just a damn fantasy and it nearly made him sob because it would never be true. Sanghyuk wasn’t an affectionate or loving person. He was a puppet master and Hongbin was his favourite puppet to play with. 

 

“About time you wake up, babe. I’m leaving in a few minutes and I wanted to say goodbye,” said Sanghyuk sweetly as he pressed a kiss against Hongbin's lips. The older one knew that something was off, immediately. His eyes shot towards his abdomen where Sanghyuk was holding a knife against his stomach. One of Hongbin's kitchen knives. His stomach dropped and panic broke out. Had he been wrong all this time? He had actually believed that Sanghyuk wouldn’t kill him because it wouldn’t fit into his psychological profile. 

 

“Sh, sh. No need to freak out. It’s just a knife and I’m not going to kill you. I didn’t do all that work on your throat for nothing.”

 

“Then what is the fucking knife for?”

 

“I wanted to leave a mark that wouldn’t fade away easily. Something that you would easily remember me by. Something that I can kiss once I’m back,” explained Sanghyuk slowly, logically. Hongbin had to gulp because he was sure that Sanghyuk was going to cut him any second. He wanted to leave a scar on Hongbin's skin. As if Hongbin would ever be able to forget Sanghyuk. He could still feel the other buried inside of him, that feeling would never fade away again. 

 

“So just relax and let me do the work. It’s not going to be deep but it’ll leave a nice scar. Oh, and it’ll bleed but I’m sure you’ll be able to take care of that.”

 

After he was done explaining, he pressed the knife harder against Hongbin's abdomen. The older one hissed as he felt the pain exploding where Sanghyuk had cut him. Sanghyuk pushed the knife a bit deeper but stopped himself before he could do any crucial damage. The wound started to bleed and the thick crimson liquid slid down Hongbin's body and onto the sheets. Pain spread through his whole body and it was in no way arousing. Hongbin was in a panicked state but Sanghyuk's soothing voice and light kisses stopped him from fighting back. Even when the younger physically hurt him, he didn’t fight back and just let it happen. Sanghyuk pulled the knife away and eyed the wound for a few seconds until he nodded his head in approval. 

 

“Don’t move and wait here,” said the younger one as he stood up and left the bedroom. He came back without the knife but with some tissues, which he gave Hongbin. He pressed them against the wound and heaved himself up. It was no use to try and stand up, so he leaned against the headboard. He was panting, trying to cope with the pain as he mustered Sanghyuk. The younger one leaned against the doorframe with a smirk plastered on his plump lips. Hongbin was in pain, but he wanted nothing more than to kiss Sanghyuk. He was really screwed up. 

 

Sanghyuk pushed himself off the doorframe and walked towards Hongbin. He pulled the older one’s hair so that he would meet his stare. 

 

“Don’t forget that you’re mine,” warned Sanghyuk before he gave Hongbin one last passionate kiss. Those words burned themselves into Hongbin's brain and the warning squeeze around his throat seared them into his skin as well. He would always belong to Sanghyuk, there was no room for someone else anymore. He wouldn’t wait for the younger one like an obedient dog, but he would run back to him once he came back. Sanghyuk had been right last night. Hongbin would always come back to him, no matter how much time passed. It made Hongbin feel dirty, ashamed of his own emotions and how easily he was manipulated. 

 

“See you soon, babe,” were Sanghyuk's last words before he walked out of the bedroom and out of Hongbin's life for god knew how long. Hongbin already missed him and welled in his own misery as he sat bleeding on his bed. Only a few minutes later, he heard his front door being opened and for a short moment, he hoped that Sanghyuk was coming back or would at least take Hongbin with him. However, it was only Jaehwan who came around for the planned breakfast. Hongbin heard the rustle of paper bags. Of course, Jaehwan had got some groceries because he knew that Hongbin's fridge was always empty. His steps were coming closer, and he was whistling cheerfully. Hongbin couldn’t even remotely understand how Jaehwan was able to be happy right now.

 

“Time to rise and shine,” sang his friend and entered the bedroom with his usual smile but that easily faded when he beheld Hongbin's situation. Hongbin was sitting on sheets that were covered with cum and blood, while he was bleeding himself and bite marks covered his whole body. He must look like a true disaster. 

 

“Shit,” cursed Jaehwan and ran to get the first aid kit. Hongbin didn’t even complain about the pain anymore because he was filled by an unbearable numbness. Sanghyuk had taken everything from him, and he would only get it back once the younger one marched back into his life. 

 

“What the hell happened here?” Jaehwan demanded to know and even slightly slapped Hongbin when he wouldn’t respond. Hongbin looked at his friend’s anxious face and everything came crashing down on him. The past few weeks of manipulation, the last night and lastly his undeniable love for Sanghyuk. He couldn’t stop the tears from spilling, a racked sob escaped him and Jaehwan pulled him into his arms without thinking twice. 

“He just left,” murmured Hongbin between sobs. He repeated it several times before he was able to calm down. 

 

“Who left?” asked Jaehwan softly, trying not to startle his friend even more while also making sure his wound didn’t open up further. 

 

“Sanghyuk,” sobbed Hongbin. Jaehwan didn’t say anything after that and let Hongbin cry. Only after he had calmed a bit, he began to clean and bandage Hongbin's wound. They slowly moved into the living room where Jaehwan served him something to eat and tea. Hongbin forced himself to eat and drink while Jaehwan made a call. Half an hour later, Taekwoon arrived at Hongbin's flat and there was no going back anymore. Hongbin told them everything, every single bit that had happened between him and Sanghyuk. How desperately he had fallen in love with the psychopath, how he had accepted to be used and would go back to Sanghyuk anytime. The only thing he didn’t mention was where Sanghyuk was going. He might need to talk about everything, but he wouldn’t betray Sanghyuk. His heart was shattered thanks to the younger one, but he was still loyal. He was still under Sanghyuk's spell and maybe that would never change. 

 

Jaehwan soothed him while Taekwoon listened to his story. He didn’t judge Hongbin or reprimanded him. He simply listened and offered Hongbin to talk to a specialist and make sure that he wouldn’t have to work for the next two weeks. Jaehwan just kept his arms locked around Hongbin as if he was trying to keep his friend together. Hongbin knew that it was going to be rough from now on but at least he had told someone. He even felt a bit lighter but the numbness inside of him didn’t leave. On the contrary, it started to spread. 

 

*******

 

Two weeks later he received his first postcard from Sanghyuk. 

 

\---

So this is the end? I might consider writing a sequel. Please let me know if you would like one or not. I hope you enjoyed this last part ♥︎


	5. SEQUEL

Hello there, I know it's been a long time but I finally finished the Sequel! So if you want to read it [go here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14080767). So far the first chapter is online and I hope you'll enjoy the sequel as much as this story. Thank you so much for your support, kudos and lovely comments. I really appreciate you all.  

See you at the Sequel ;) 

Here's the link once again: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14080767


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